Glamorgan’s pitch for the first Ashes Test

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The Swalec StadiumSome of you might have seen that Glamorgan were docked two points for producing a duff pitch. This is at the beautifully monikered Swalec Stadium, where the first Ashes Test is due to take place.

‘Oh no,’ people have said. ‘What if the pitch for the Ashes is sub-standard?’

These people are missing the point.

If ‘the point’ is sellotaped to the door of the fridge, these people are wandering blindfold round Dorothy Perkins. They’re slowly approaching the top of an escalator and not a year – not a year! – goes by when we don’t hear about some poor soul falling down an escalator at Dorothy Perkins because they were wearing a blindfold.

Glamorgan were docked those two points because the pitch in question offered what was deemed to be ‘excessive’ turn. Quite apart from the fact that huge turn is always a plus point, England’s best bowling attack features two spinners, while Australia’s features none.

So we say: come on Glamorgan, take a series of two-point deductions for a good cause.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. OR… its pitch that would make Bryce McGain look like a world-class bowler.

  2. So do you now think the loss of Old Trafford in exchange for a surface friendly to the home team is a fair trade KC?

    You can have the first test, Phil Hughes has knocked himself in on your ‘standard’ (ie late swinging) wickets. Even with Ponting as captain we should be able to take this 4-1.

  3. For some reason, the acronym SWALEC makes me think of Burmese regimes and therefore SWALEC Stadium the sort of place where nasty people round up their enemies and such.

    I just thought I ought to share that thought with all of you.

  4. I’m not sure about this – I’ve got visions of England producing a rank turner, batting first, being bowled out for 150 and Michael Clarke getting all ten.

    It worries me.

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