In the cold September rain

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< 1 minute read

Apparently it’s been slatting it down all day in the South-East. Bad news for Surrey, who are pushing to become second division ‘champions’ in one of the few matters left unresolved this domestic season.

We use inverted commas around ‘champions’ in much the same way as if we were saying ‘most insightful’ football phone-in. It seems an entirely inappropriate word to use in reference to the second division of the County Championship.

Surrey are of course vying for ‘supremacy’ with Lancashire, who would have stolen a march on them had they not themselves been playing in Essex. We say playing; we mean lounging around indoors mournfully pawing at the rivulets of water running down the windows.

The other issue still outstanding is whether Hampshire will definitely get relegated from division one or not. They almost certainly will, but it’s not yet definite. Needing to win convincingly with either Sussex or Somerset losing while also gaining very few bonus points, they haven’t got off to a particularly good start. The Hampshire batsmen in particular have disappointed, being caught behind off every single ball they’ve faced.

Thus far that’s one ball, but a collective golden duck is still very much on the cards. Should this happen – as it almost certainly will – they will surely struggle to overhaul the 340-run first innings deficit. Our money’s on Hampshire relegation and Surrey ‘winning’ the second division after a pair of near-washouts.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. You should have tried driving from Brighton to London in that muck.

    Talk about amphibious vehicles…Dumbo needed to learn how to swim in a hurry.

  2. A little harsh on Hants, no? In fairness it could be said that nightwatchman Ryan Stevenson did his job in ensuring no specialist batsman would have to face a ball last night.

    As for Somerset (whom you’ve clearly omitted to mention in detail for lack of space, unlike an American SUV), 40 more runs and six Warwickshire wickets and we’ll see you next season, thankyou very much!

  3. Dumbo is a Jimny which is a tiny baby SUV. You can convert the back seat into a “trunk” as I have done, which allows room for loads of stuff in the back, including the spare if you wish, but the contents are visible. Hence, we strategically place tarpaulin over our stuff, especially if the contents have an appealing look, such as my baritone ukulele, tennis or cricket gear.

    All this information comes into its own when Dumbo tells you about his first visit to Lord’s, so once again, watch this space and do not change channel.

    1. As in, he’s strained it due to carrying around all that excess timber?

      PS. three Hampshire or five Warwickshire wickets from survival…

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