Jesse Ryder injures himself gaining entrance to a toilet

Bad night RyderJesse Ryder, you really do appear in the most spectacularly glorious stories.

Jesse Ryder injured himself while he was out drinking to celebrate New Zealand’s one-day series win over England. Did he injure himself in a fight? No. Did he injure himself trying to break into a toilet? Yes.

He’s gashed his hand punching through a pane of glass, by the sounds of it. It’s all a little opaque.

New Zealand’s manager, Lindsay Crocker, said: “It was one of those semi-detached toilets with the lock on the outside. There was no one in there and there was a little glass panel next to it and he put his hand through it – quite forcibly, obviously – to unlock it, and that is when he did the damage.”

Semi-detached toilets? What?

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9 Appeals

  1. I feel sad.

  2. Jesse Ryder has only further endeared himself to me.

  3. The boy needs a firm, guiding hand. I’m happy to provide this.

  4. Miriam, you should contact Lindsay Crocker – she sounds at the end of her tether and might hand him over willingly.

  5. I might do that Lemon Bella. I definitely wouldn’t then ply him with bourbon and chicken and take advantage of the fact that he only has use of one of his hands. That definitely wouldn’t happen.

  6. Miriam Spanking Jesse, surely we could convince an Indian Billionaire to cough up some cash for such an event.

  7. Jrod, the places your mind takes you … how do you know I’m not intending to sit Jesse down in front of worthy triumph-against-adversity movies?

  8. Just so you know – Lindsay’s a bloke.

    And Jesse’s in more trouble for giving the ED staff aggro when they were treating him.

    Oh well, I guess Jesse’s favourite shot is tequila.

  9. at least this provides a window of opportunity for a young player.

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