Nathan Hauritz – number one Australian spinner

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Least Australian face everrrr

Shane Warne said that Nathan Hauritz was being given a crap field by Ricky Ponting today. Being as Hauritz went for 76 in 12 overs on a fifth day Indian pitch, we’d guess that Ponting was only using four or five fielders.

Hauritz is currently said to be Australia’s number one spinner. Quite apart from the qualitative judgement in that, he doesn’t even fulfil the rest of the description. He’s a finger spinner, which is the wrong kind for his nation and he hasn’t even got the decency to LOOK Australian.

Look at him. What would you say? Dutch?

A girl from the Netherlands described to us how you could look Dutch once. She said the look was ‘kind of okay, but there’s something wrong’.

Amusingly, she was having to define the look because she’d just asked someone else in the conversation – a stranger – whether they were Dutch or not.


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  1. Deception is a key skill of a slow bowler, and Hauritz clearly has it. He’s managed to deceive the Australian nation into thinking he is a spinner. Here are two of the three wickets he took in this match, from Cricinfo’s commentary:

    Dhoni (1st innings) – “The ball dipped on him and didn’t turn as much as he thought.”

    Pujara (2nd innings) – “Done in by the straight one! It landed on the off stump line and went on straight. Pujara played for the turn and pushed inside the line.”

    Also, he appears to have the ability to completely detach his left hand from his body, or to have an eight-foot long very bendy left arm. Not sure which.

  2. He looks Belgian. Julie Burchill always claimed that Belgium’s finest hour was the Eurovision Song Contest. I can see Hauritz making a splash with a Eurosong. In tight disco pants and with scantily clad background singers. Lots of sequins and glitter, naturally.

  3. bettiwettiwoo:

    thanks for that image. it is now forever imprinted on my brain. my beautiful brain.

  4. I tried googling the origin of the name Hauritz:

    It seems that Nathan Hauritz is far and away the most famous Hauritz in the world.

    The name Hauritz seems to have a peculiar link with Minnesota – so I suppose he must look Minnesotan.

    More interesting is the origin of the name Nathan, which it transpires is a Hebrew name which means “to give” or “giver”. Good one. Nathan gives away plenty of runs.

  5. Ah, it’s Mark Riddell’s hand. Well spotted Brad.

    I think you might be on to something, Ged. Hauritz’s name has a “z” in it, which makes it German. In the good old days of Australian cricket it was all proper Aussie vowels (Shaaane Waaarne, Steeeve Waaaugh, Maaark Waaaugh, Maaark Taaaylor). These days there’s a German wherever you look. Hauritz, Bollinger, Hilfenhaus, Katich – they’re everywhere. The Germans have no time to learn how to play proper cricket – formation marching is their speciality (stop me if this gets too racist). “Gooood aaareaaas Shaaaaaaaaaane” becomes “So, I see you haf put ze ball into anozer, how shall ve say, good area Herr Hauritz”. (How are we doing on the racism front?)

    Clearly, that is not going to work against the English. It would only encourage the batsmen (Strauss in particular) to adopt a laid-back approach to batting, smiling chirpily, whistling, and occasionally wandering off to square leg to shake dirt out of hidden pouches in the trousers.

  6. Indeed, quintessentially English name, Strauss.


    Johann (I and II – otherwise known as BOGOF) Strauss

    Richard (one of der Fuhrer’s favourites, through no fault of his own, wonderful composer that he was) Strauss

    Claude Lévi Strauss (a bit of ethic balance there in more ways than one)

    Levi Strauss (ditto on the ethic balance front, genes and jeans, which brings us nicely back to trousers)

    I think I should go lie down again.

  7. A fair point, Ged, but he’s been properly Englomorphed, has Strauss (or should I say Strauß). His first name is Andrew, but it wouldn’t matter if it was Baron Helmut Von, he’d still be as English as the Queen.

  8. The name is spread all over the world … me, im Danish, but and as far as I know the Name comes from Austria.

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