Andrew McDonald endures a duck and then scores a hundred

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Andrew McDonald hit 163 off just 116 balls for Victoria this week, despite a duck before play.

“We walked too close to the ducklings and the old father duck attacked me. He got on top of my backpack and started chipping away at my head. It was a savage attack so lucky to survive. I never knew they could be so feisty.”

They’ve some lethal wildlife in Australia. We’ve heard they have mice as well.


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  1. “..he old father duck attacked me..”

    Is that an aussie hesitating to say he got up by a female ? or does he really know his ducks from drakes ?

  2. “You can even get rabies if you get licked by a duck.”

    A nurse once told me that, while trying to convince me to have a rabies jab.

    I took my chances with the vicious-tongued duck.

  3. Unless ‘duck’ is code and Andrew McDonald had attempted to carry out some sort of sexual attack which was successfully foiled by a parent.

    Note: This almost certainly did NOT happen. Andrew McDonald is a moral, law-abiding man – albeit a man with almost offensively ginger hair, but since when was that a crime the police ever took seriously?

  4. “Chipping away at” implies to me that his head has now got some bits missing. If that is true then he was indeed “lucky to survive.” There aren’t many bits of your head that you can easily do without, although in his case there is one obvious candidate that would improve things no end. In any case, this must be the first first-class century scored by a player with bits of his head missing. For Victoria. At Perth. On a Monday.

  5. Nevermind what they’ve got in Australia, have you seen the flying beasts Sachin had to avoid when making his double hundred?

    What the crikey are they?

  6. They’re love. Love from the stands solidifies when it makes contact with the dusty air and forms winged fiends who just sort of amble about bothering people.

  7. Chipping away at his head – that does not bring to mind a duck. Sounds more like the work of the dastardly Wild Woodpecker of Woolloomooloo.

    There are no Woodpeckers in Australia, it was probably attempting to take his ginger locks as nesting material as it is very very homesick and just a tad mad.

    He was very lucky to survive.

  8. A bit of research reveals that the question of ducks killing people has been bothering the internet quite a lot. Answering the question “How many people on average are killed by ducks each year?”, the only respondent said,

    “Ducks don’t kill people, people kill ducks.”

    The same respondent was able to add some background information:

    “Ducks are mostly aquatic birds, mostly smaller than the swans and geese, and may be found in both fresh water and sea water.”

    Another website, however, contained the following:

    “You also have more chance of being killed by a donkey than dying in a plane crash and more people have been killed by ducks in 1918 and 1919 than in world war 1”

    although this was later modified slightly by the addition of “Sorry, that’s not ducks, it’s soldiers.”

  9. ‘They’re love. Love from the stands solidifies when it makes contact with the dusty air and forms winged fiends who just sort of amble about bothering people.’

    That sounds like it could be a Smiths B-side.

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