Andrew McDonald hit 163 off just 116 balls for Victoria this week, despite a duck before play.
“We walked too close to the ducklings and the old father duck attacked me. He got on top of my backpack and started chipping away at my head. It was a savage attack so lucky to survive. I never knew they could be so feisty.”
They’ve some lethal wildlife in Australia. We’ve heard they have mice as well.
If you don’t know who Andrew McDonald is, imagine a side’s seventh batsman and their fifth bowler. Now imagine he bowls medium-pace. Now wake up again.
If it weren’t for having hair that’s such a bright shade of red that it clashes with life itself, Andrew ‘Ronald’ McDonald wouldn’t be eyecatching in the slightest.
We’d have thought that natural selection would have taken care of Australians with gingeriness of this magnitude. That hole in the ozone layer can’t be kind to a strikingly red man who works outdoors for a living.
Australia have selected McDonald for the Ashes instead of Andrew Symonds. Symonds always comes across as something of a turd, but there have been many Australian cricketers whose turdiness hasn’t affected the quality of their cricket.