We haven’t had a weird obsession with a trivial element of cricket in ages. Luckily Danny Morrison’s bizarrely beguiling intonation has stepped into the breach.
Hanging on his every word
We don’t dislike Danny Morrison, but he’s not a good commentator. Despite this, we find ourself listening to him far more closely than any other IPL commentator. This is because we’re fascinated with his halting, percussive speech patterns. We wrote about a fairly typical piece of Danny Morrison commentary last week. He basically talks in unrelated bullet points.
But the staccato delivery’s not even half of it. His commentary’s weirder still when he draws out his sentences to give added emphasis. What he’s actually saying pretty much never warrants that emphasis, so you find yourself in a constant state of puzzlement.
Pay attention: significant plot development
The best way we can describe it is that it’s as if Morrison is narrating the match, rather than commentating on it. What we mean by this is that he describes a leg-bye as if he KNOWS that this is a match-turning event; as if he’s already privy to what’s going to happen later on and is giving you hints.
There are only two ways to react:
- Be absolutely baffled as to why this is a significant moment
- Be absolutely baffled as to why Danny Morrison feels it necessary to make this seem like a significant moment
Why does he do this?
Our guess is that he feels obliged to make every on-field event sound momentous. By applying an excitable, momentous way of speaking when describing inconsequential events, he confuses everyone.