No bowling for Shaun Tait for a bit

Shaun Tait - sixth form poetry in motionThis is bad news. We’d already earmarked Shaun Tait as Matthew Hayden’s successor in the role of ‘most detestably arrogant Australian’. With his face, his face and also his face, he had all the attributes to make the position his own for years to come.

But he’s disappointingly fragile. He’s taking a break from the game – primarily due to the stress, reading between the lines. He’ll be back soon no doubt, but maybe he’s not ‘King Cricket enemy number one’ material.

While we feel moderately guilty about the whole Hayden thing, at least he’s got the bulletproof arrogance to only appear mildly affronted when he appears to us in dreams. Shaun Tait of dreams is going to be wrist-slashingly inconsolable and we have enough trouble sleeping at nights as it is.

We had two points to make about this, but Uncle J Rod’s already made them both with his 12 hour advantage and his despicable work ethic: Being a labouring drone like everyone else is rubbish and even if it weren’t you’ve got far too many years at it after you retire from cricket anyway.

Shaun Tait’ll be back bowling 95mph wides before you know it. Here’s a picture of him in happier days, standing astride a giant cannon.

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14 Appeals

  1. Let’s hope that he’s back in time for next years ashes.. It would be lovely if he would donate 60 runs per wicket.

    He’s not like Mohammed Sami, who gives away about the same. Sami gives it away pretty slowly.

    Tait gives it away in a session, and the course of the game changes in no time,

  2. I think that was my first ever post on your beloved site, sire!

    I still want to fling shit in his face.

  3. I thought that was you Suave! It had your distinctive cadence.

    With this announcement Shaun Tait has, by showing he is human/vulnerable, made me stop disliking him.

  4. King Cricket

    January 29, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    The screen name may change, but the shit-flinging urges remain.

  5. What can I say, it’s an addiction..

    I’ve got too many other addictions to get rid of before that one, so tait’s getting it, if he comes to London for a break.

  6. I had to stop calling myself Jamie, after an old boss searched my name and found that I was commenting on cricket websites, during working hours.

    He got the proverbial flung at him.

  7. Suave, finding out that your name is Jamie is quite disappointing. I had you down as a Troy or a Chad or at the very least a Steve.

  8. Odd and surprising. I’m guessing there’s circumstances we don’t know, so I don’t wanna judge him too harshly.

  9. Sorry Lemon Bella, alas, it is so.. If it’s any consolation, my friends all call me Suave.

  10. A poor couple of days for the fast-bowling enthusiast, these, what with Shane Bond being airbrushed out of the NZ team for daring to make some money elsewhere. Still, I suppose with NZ’s embarrassment of riches in the fast-bowling department, they can afford to lose him.

  11. Suave — when they call you so, do they accompany it with a cheesy pointing action, much in the style of ZZ Top?

  12. Untitled - as a result of complete apathy and laziness

    January 31, 2008 at 12:37 am

    Shame about Shaun Tait. Every team, and especially Australia, needs a bowler who sprays it around and is utter rubbish. But then I rationalise Brett Lee in the same way, and he’s somehow crept to 271 test wickets.

    What is King Cricket’s stand on the Harbhajan/BCCI dominates the world issue? I for one await for your objective. Does Rob Key have a ghostwritten viewpoint?

  13. King Cricket

    January 31, 2008 at 11:28 am

    You mean have the BCCI flexed their administrative muscles and had this whole thing swept away?

    No idea.

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