Tell you what’s boring: people picking fantasy teams and then publishing them on their websites. Who cares? The arrogance of these people to think anyone would be remotely interested.
- Chris Gayle – plays forward defensives and sixes with the same facial expression
- Tillekeratne Dilshan – reliable, effective and has given us the rather frightening ‘Dilscoop’ where you basically try and play the ball into your own face
- AB De Villiers – he was on this list before the tournament even started
- Kevin Pietersen – you expect more, but he scored a good few runs at a fair lick
- Yuvraj Singh – turdish exterior can’t sully clinical six-hitting ability
- Kumar Sangakkara – enduring the stench of ‘glove hands’ for a week or two
- Roelof van der Merwe – we’re still not entirely sure how, but no-one can score off this boss-eyed tweaker (Saeed Ajmal a very close second for this spot)
- Wayne Parnell – yet another South African fast bowler – great…
- Umar Gul – reverse swing it at the stumps, repeat, repeat, repeat…
- Lasith Malinga – that arm is getting lower than a Barry White record played at the wrong speed (finger on the cultural and technological pulse, as ever)
- Ajantha Mendis – his weirdness sometimes obscures his brilliance
Dwayne Bravo is 12th man. David Lloyd and Anil Kumble commentate.