Peter Moores talks balls

We mean that how you think we mean it. He’s not been going on about Kookaburras or whatever.

Talking about Andrew Flintoff Peter Moores said:

“When it gets tight he takes a deep breath and delivers his skills.”

Maybe that doesn’t bother you, but all sorts of alarm bells started ringing when we read it. After we’d turned them all off and returned to the computer, his choice of words sank in and we were MASSIVELY HORRIFIED.

‘Delivers his skills’ is, unfortunately, not Maxonian dialect. It’s cricket lingo. It just means ‘plays well’ and nothing more than that. It’s one of those phrases where people just seem to be trying too hard to sound professional or something.

We heard it first a couple of years ago when John Buchanan was Australia coach. At that time the whole Australia team had been brainwashed into speaking in this mindless way; forever going on about executing their skills like they were frigging robots or something.

It’s a bad sign. Mark our words.

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10 Appeals

  1. Maybe he’s a Legostar Galactica fan (online send up of scl fi programmes) from whence cometh the imortal line;

    ‘It’s jargony enough to really work!’

    No wonder Michael Vaughan couldn’t stand it any Moore..

  2. I enjoy Cap’n Kaypee’s victory speeches – all about the lads turning up and every day in every way getting better and better – and particularly enjoyed his phrase about Shah “he put his finger up”. No idea where though. Mike Atherton’s expression of bemusement is wondrous to behold

  3. Maybe that’s why Owais has been given the number 3 slot, Ceci.

  4. I’m going to stand up, be counted, come to the party and say I agree with this post 110%.

    Still, at least no-one has “completed their skills” yet. That made it sound as if top level cricket was like collecting Magic: The Gathering cards or something.

  5. King Cricket

    September 2, 2008 at 10:22 am

    We’re a young, developing site, but we backed ourself to get that sort of response from someone, SimonC.

  6. Yeah, sorry. Unfortunately, a major part of my skill set is “crushingly inevitable jokes.”

  7. I’d like the players just to “execute” – who’d they “execute” first?

    Graeme Smith followed by Sreesanth, i’d reckon. It’d be an entirely different sport to watch.

  8. I’ve been wondering for ages who Peter Moores reminds me of, and of course it’s now obvious: Gus from Drop the Dead Donkey.

  9. There was plenty more where that came from.

    “Around the dressing-room, he is on great form. He is calm, very committed and that makes him a fantastic role model because at the top level of sport nothing is a drama.”

    You could fuel a medium-sized town on this stuff.

  10. Dynamo harrow, have we unwittingly stumbled upon a solution to the renewable energy crisis? The untapped potential of these STDs (Sportsmen Talking Drivel) must be enormous – think of all those footballers going to waste.

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