Peter Moores: Lancashire coach

You're like Manchester, you've got Strangeways

We support Lancashire. You might be wondering how we feel about this. If there’s such a thing as a positive ‘meh’ – then that. He did win the County Championship with Sussex after all. He does have a good track record.

Peter Moores’ has Maxonian origins, so this is a return to the North-West for him. We’ll all stand at the windows of the mills and doff our flat caps at him as he slopes back into town, hunched against the driving rain.

We’ll bake ‘welcome home’ meat ‘n’ tatty pies for him and call him a soft bastard for having something approximating a hairstyle. We’ll ask him if it’s true that you can’t get gravy wi’ your chips down south and then we’ll get on with the serious of business of buying him a pint so that he has to stand there and drink it while we tell him how shit he’s doing.

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10 Appeals

  1. I reckon he’ll live in Cheshire. He comes from Cheshire, and he looks like the sort of person who would want to live in Cheshire. Hale, I would guess, or Bowdon. Maybe Wilmslow. I can’t see him going Bacc to Macc though. He’s been away, and it wouldn’t be the same. You can’t go back. You can never go back.

    If he lives in Bowdon he can use the A56 to take him conveniently from his house to Old Trafford without ever actually having to visit The North. Bowdon, Altrincham, Brooklands, Sale, then foot down through Stretford and voila, he’s there. No meat and potato pies for him on his journey. It’ll be all sun-dried tomatoes and balsamic vinegar.

    I fear you might be standing at your mill window for a while, KC, and t’gaffer’ll norrus bi fain.

  2. Macclesfield to the People’s Republic of Sun-Dried Balsamia is a leap for anyone to make. Even 20 years of slow acclimatisation won’t be enough.

    Moores won’t be able to live more than 200 yards from a Gregg’s.

  3. Never underestimate the power of Smacclesfield.

    I havent been back for 7 years but still cant resist the odd 50p mystery meat sausage roll!

    I’m nearly off the super thick napalm gravy mind.

    Baby steps, baby steps…….

  4. He’ll drive past a Greggs, in the Stretford Arndale Centre. So, if he has a spare car or two, he could park up, nip in and get some scram. Or, he could send one of the junior players out at lunchtime to get him something, in return for, say, a place in the first team.

    This is how these people do things. They don’t live in a place with Greggs. They live in places without Greggs, and have Greggs produce delivered to them.

  5. You know you’ve made it then.

  6. I remember when they had a Gregg’s discount shop in Rusholme, full of misshapen pasties, etc.

    It was right next to the bus stop I used when getting to and from uni. Happy days!

  7. Hale ? Bowdon?
    He is the new Lanccy [?Lanky] coach mate, not United or City honcho.
    He couldn’t afford a house there.

  8. Timperley, then.

  9. Why would you want to put gravy on your chips?

    Northerners do the funniest things.

  10. Live where you want in the environs of Cheshire (where they have jus on their pommes frites) or in the hills (where they eat what they’re given) but, quite simply, just win the County Championship.

    Produce and present a team capable of bowling a side out twice and scoring more runs than them that’s all you need to do.

    Hide them from the ECB so that they can’t be rationed or broken under the veil of a central contract.

    Not rocket science – leave that to Bernard Lovell.

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