Because he looks like the kind of person who eats sandwiches with a knife and fork.
Because Rob Key’s on the wrong continent.
Because if international cricket were a cartoon where everyone were an animal, Ian Bell would be the excitable squirrel who doesn’t really accomplish anything.
Yes, why not. That was a rhetorical question, wasn’t it?
Opposition bowlers seem to have caught on that he isn’t a member of the groundstaff shovelling soil around; he’s actually got a bat in his hand, not a spade.
Actually knows the value of his Test place and is pleasingly prone to fighting to retain it.