Jonathan Trott, who is being dropped into a deep end infested with piranhas from a great height for his debut, said:
Mark Ramprakash, writing on Twitter, (genuinely) said:
“Defecating in a package to send to Geoff Miller.”
Quite bizarrely, Trott seemed to echo Ramps’ thoughts when speaking about how he’d deal with the pressure:
“I’ll try to stay relaxed and let nature take its course.”
It’s the Ashes decider. Of course everyone’s crapping themselves.