South Africa have already choked

Posted by
< 1 minute read


We were quite keen to be first off the mark in using the word “choked” to mean “lost a cricket match” in reference to South Africa this summer.

Hopefully we have achieved our aim. When you see the term deployed by others in the weeks to come, be sure to let them know that we were there first.

England’s victory again hinged on their conviction that they should be trying to take wickets throughout the innings.

Chris Woakes was the most wicket-takery bowler on the day, as he quite often is these days. He deserves it for his bowling action alone.

A lot of people coo over the aesthetics of a perfectly executed cover drive. These people have clearly never seen Chris Woakes bowl. He’s like one of those finely calibrated production line robots, only made out of honey.

South Africa choked on honey. It can happen.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. If England win the Champeens Trophy, it will be very clear that England started the ODI season strongly and gathered unstoppable momentum (perhaps with the occasional aberration) to secure the prize.

    If England fail to secure the Champeens Trophy, it will be blindingly obvious that England peaked too early…that the players who were due called in their dues ahead of the matches that really mattered…that the team heaped unmanageable amounts of pressure upon itself by becoming, undisputably, THE side to beat.

  2. South Africa looked very fast-medium, as we say. It feels like they’re supposed to have a lethal pace attack because that’s what SA do, but when you look at it, you’ve got one class bowler in Rabada and then 82mph allrounders. Phelukwayo-Parnell-Morris is not scary at all.

    1. Parnell used to be really very quick. Don’t know whether it was on off day, he was reining himself in, or whether it’s just the way things are now. Any South Africa supporters able to enlighten us?

      1. Parnell, no matter how fast or medium is cannon fodder. I love it when SA play him. That’s 75 runs done 🙂

    2. They have Morkel in their locker. They just decided that more fast-medium was apparently the way to go. When in Rome…

    3. Surely Morkel playing and batting 10 would strengthen them? England are quite similar in picking bowling all-rounders, but that is because all their bowlers are basically the same level so you may as well pick the ones that can bat. Morkel seems demonstrably better than the other three to me, and he isnt even a complete muppet with the bat.

      I’m also starting to lean towards Plunkett or Wood, of which there is only one choice at the moment. I know how regressive it sounds, but would Broad really not be better with the new ball than Willey or Wood?

  3. I only made my finely calibrated robot out of porridge, which explains many things.

Comments are closed.