When Shane Watson hit 161 not out in a one-day match against England

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We’ll be honest. We didn’t see a single ball of this match. We were drinking Belgian beers and playing Goldeneye when it began and we were getting over that experience when it ended. On balance, we made the right choice.

Seven one-day internationals between Australia and England a couple of months before a World Cup – it’s a bit of a netherworld, isn’t it? World Cups are pretty much all that counts when it comes to one-day cricket, so this is like a series of practice matches that are for some reason being played out in front of a paying public.

Yes, both teams want to win every one of them, but only in the same way that they’d want be the best at tiddlywinks or throwing a screwed-up piece of paper into a bin from a few metres away.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Was that Goldeneye for the Wii or were you were going ‘old sckool’ and broke out an N64?

    I recently bought an LCD tv, only to find my N64 looks a bit rubbish on it. Then I saw Goldeney for the Wii so I thought ‘I’ll buy a Wii!’. But then I thought ‘well, the Wii’s been around for ages, surely a new one will be out soon’. So I didn’t buy one.

    What should I do?

  2. It was Wii Goldeneye. It’s a bit frustrating that the controls aren’t as second-nature as with the N64 controller but we can testify that there are many American teenagers online who don’t seem to be struggling. Maybe the Leffe Radieuse wasn’t helping our cause.

    So, er, dunno. Maybe buy it if you don’t know anyone else who’s got it. Sounds like the N64 version is no longer a goer and you need some sort of Goldeneye access. This might be your only option.

  3. You might as well be talking a foreign language in the discussion area so far. Let me change tack and perhaps I’ll be able to understand.

    Which Belgian Beers, KC?

  4. Cantillon Kriek Lambic, Poperings Hommel Bier, Verhaeghe Duchesse de Bourgogne, Westmalle Tripel, Rodenbach Grand Cru and Orval.

    Anyone with knowledge of both Goldeneye and Westmalle Tripel will rightly envisage disaster.

  5. I find Chimay Grand Reserve gets me in the right frame of mind for gaming.

    I really wish they had gone with a vintage N64 style controller for the bundle rather than a gamecube style. May have to check it out to distract myself from the fact that Watson is quite possibly the best allrounder in the world at the moment.

    If only he want such a twat.

  6. You’ll have to help us with that.

    If we’re not the worst person in the world when it comes to understanding abbreviations then we’re in the peloton at least.

  7. Ceci – magnificent diagram, but what happens if New Zealand forget to use their green quizzle chance in the semifinals?

  8. Thanks for your sort of advice King. The N64 isn’t too bad, I just was expecting it to look ace, and it was a bit worse. I’m going to assume it’s not got a high enough definition output for the new technology. Or something like that.

    Another thing that puts me off the new one is the advert. When one of them gets the golden gun, he and everyone else reacts like he’s just found a 10p on the floor.

    That’s not how you react when you find the golden gun.

  9. As we remember it, finding the golden gun is generally a sign that you are going to be shot dead before a second has elapsed.

    Why can’t there be special ‘pissed-up at 3am’ online multiplayer mode where opposing players stand stock still in front of each other firing shots here, there and everywhere, completely failing to injure each other?

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