Shane Watson throws England’s bowlers

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Shane Watson's hamstring spontaneously dissolvesYou’ve got to feel for England’s bowlers. How were they supposed to react to Shane Watson?

They prepare themselves for bowling at stubbly-faced munchkin, Phil Hughes, but against all expectation are suddenly confronted with a creepy-looking, gym-bodied albino instead.

It must be like bowling at a fearful ghost. Not the kind that uses its telekinesis to wreak havoc, but one who instead tidies up and puts you on edge by making you wonder what the hell it’s got to look frightened about.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. By the way, King. The following from TMS yesterday:

    Matthew Hayden: “I’ve always thought that momentum is key”

    which nicely brings together your three greatest obsessions in one.

  2. Bert

    Dan suggested to the King yestereday that there needs to be some permanant repository during the ahses where we can all share our hayden gems.

    Further evidence that this is essential

    Also, i realise that i havent capitalised haydens name. This demostrates the level of respect i have for the man-ape

  3. I just had to send King the following gem

    His opening line on TMS: –

    A little bit of a frown has come over the face of one Matty Hayden who is supporting Australia biasedly

  4. He said that? That is awesome.

    We’re working on the Hayden repository and should have something sorted by Monday. It’s not too late then, is it?

    Anyone know if he’s working the next two Tests?

  5. It needs a good name, like The Matthew Hayden Memorial Library of Truth, or something.

  6. He said Boycott’s batting style “emptied cricket grounds” and Boycott walked out of the commentary box with “I don’t need comments like that at my stage.”

    Each in their own way, they’re both annoying twats.

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