Shane Watson reckons he’s aggressive

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Here’s a quote from raving metrosexual, Shane Watson:

“It’s a good way to challenge them [the Indians], physically and mentally. Not sledging but having an aggressive persona about you – and that’s the way I play my cricket.”

Watson’s always saying things like this about how he plays aggressive cricket. So why does he always look so frightened?

Why God? Why did you make me without eyelashes?For a big, muscly albino, he’s got a real timid air about him. When he’s batting, he always looks terrified, as if he thinks the umpire’s going to tell him off at any minute.

Plus there was that whole thing during the 2005 Ashes series, when the Aussies stayed at Lumley Castle in Durham. Watson thought there was a ghost and had to go and sleep in Brett Lee’s room.

This gave rise to the greatest on-field ribbing of all time, when Darren Gough did a pantomime ‘wooh – a ghost’ thing when walking back to his mark while Watson was at the non-striker’s end.

We’re not totally sure, but we think Watson might not have any eyelashes. Do we use eyelashes to make ourselves look aggressive? Maybe he just looks fearful the whole time because he’s at constant risk of getting dust in his eyes.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. If I had to bat naked with only one piece of protective equipment, a situation we all face at some point in our careers, I don’t think I’d go for the pads as first choice.

  2. Also, everytime he sends one down leg, he howls with a curious mix of pain and pleasure on his face.. and after seeing that photo, it all makes sense.

  3. Maybe he’s so aggressive due to his lack of genital, and hence lack of box, whilst his panicked expression is due to his fear of being outed as a eunuch.

    The only one who knows that he lacks genitals is Brett Lee, which is why he ran to his room upon seeing a phantasm.

Comments are closed.