Shane Watson reckons he’s aggressive

Here’s a quote from raving metrosexual, Shane Watson:

“It’s a good way to challenge them [the Indians], physically and mentally. Not sledging but having an aggressive persona about you – and that’s the way I play my cricket.”

Watson’s always saying things like this about how he plays aggressive cricket. So why does he always look so frightened?

Why God? Why did you make me without eyelashes?For a big, muscly albino, he’s got a real timid air about him. When he’s batting, he always looks terrified, as if he thinks the umpire’s going to tell him off at any minute.

Plus there was that whole thing during the 2005 Ashes series, when the Aussies stayed at Lumley Castle in Durham. Watson thought there was a ghost and had to go and sleep in Brett Lee’s room.

This gave rise to the greatest on-field ribbing of all time, when Darren Gough did a pantomime ‘wooh – a ghost’ thing when walking back to his mark while Watson was at the non-striker’s end.

We’re not totally sure, but we think Watson might not have any eyelashes. Do we use eyelashes to make ourselves look aggressive? Maybe he just looks fearful the whole time because he’s at constant risk of getting dust in his eyes.

Hey you!

If you can't really be bothered checking King Cricket for updates, then why not let us come to you...

Get the email (this is the best option)

On Twitter

On Facebook

6 Appeals

  1. I suspect o king that he is fearful of someone reviving the pic that suggests he plays in front of some very odd stumps – apparently made of cast iron:

    It’s not just his eyelashes that are sparse btw

  2. I…


    I really don’t know how to deal with that.

  3. If I had to bat naked with only one piece of protective equipment, a situation we all face at some point in our careers, I don’t think I’d go for the pads as first choice.

  4. Also, everytime he sends one down leg, he howls with a curious mix of pain and pleasure on his face.. and after seeing that photo, it all makes sense.

  5. Maybe he’s so aggressive due to his lack of genital, and hence lack of box, whilst his panicked expression is due to his fear of being outed as a eunuch.

    The only one who knows that he lacks genitals is Brett Lee, which is why he ran to his room upon seeing a phantasm.

  6. That explains it, he’s just a very ugly woman!

Comments are closed.

© 2019 King Cricket

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑