Will Lanky the Giraffe ever win the T20 Finals Day Mascot Race?

The 2019 Mascot Race (via Sky Sports)

Someone wrote 900 words about the Finals Day mascot race and we should probably confess that we were that person.

The piece sort of almost has a point, but doesn’t quite. It hints at a point, it has a whiff of a point, but the point is never quite made.

It’s possibly something about seizing the day, or maybe it’s about the social dynamics that underpin the best of the British summer. Maybe it’s just a paean to people with foam heads on running about a bit.

Read the thing here and judge for yourselves.

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9 Appeals

  1. Was this whole article written for the sole purpose of using the word “paean”?

    • King Cricket

      September 25, 2019 at 12:21 pm


      Searching this site, we find the word ‘paean’ has previously been used in reference to words about…

      Sachin Tendulkar
      The blocker
      “An entire continent”
      Brendon McCullum
      Reliable mediocrity
      “All the players who were able to show us their skills for a prolonged period”

  2. If you are a connoisseur of the mascot race and find yourself in America, the Milwaukee Brewers and Washington Nationals (baseball teams) have mascot races often. The Brewers race sausages, and the Nationals race Presidents.
    I fear that I may not have gotten that whiff of a point.

  3. It must have been paean down in Tsunton last night.

  4. That cricket ball-dented washing machine story made me laugh. (And no easy ‘spin’ or ‘delicates’ jokes either.)

    • King Cricket

      September 26, 2019 at 11:17 am

      It was a perfect example of that cricket crowd thing where you’re all thinking, “What the hell is this? Who authorised them to do this and thought it was appropriate?” and then you all just get really into it, because why not.

  5. Lancashire’s problem is that they didn’t think about it properly when the whole mascot thing was first mooted. “Lancashire,” they thought, “Lanky lanky lanky lanky Lancashire.” Now what does that suggest? Lan-key? As in Rob Key, but without the Rob. And what is it called when there is no Rob? A police state, that’s what, where even minor thought-transgressions are mercilessly punished. How punished? By hanging the reactionaries from lampposts of course. Now lampposts have no legs, so that’s not a suitable mascot. Hence a Giraffe, which is equally tall and thin and electrically operated.

    If only the team had been called something fast, like Lightning or something.

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