World Cup heroes finally selected

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< 1 minute read

The England camp has been struck by a few cases of the wild shits this week. This might not seem that interesting in itself, but it has allowed us to answer one important question.

Is Luke Wright a batsman, a bowler or simply a blank canvas who doesn’t get injured? Apparently, he’s none of those. He’s actually a blank canvas who doesn’t get the wild shits.

James Tredwell is playing too and the West Indies have dropped Shiv.

An England win is all but guaranteed.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. 5/134 – The nice men in the white coats have come and put a screen around the horse so as not to frighten the children.

  2. Pah your pessimism Mr Wolf. 160/6 and Wright and Treadwell are at the crease.

    An England win is all but guaranteed.

    Although, this does of course mean there is a danger of complacency…

  3. – Wright plays a sensible innings with England in trouble to give them a slim chance of winning.

    – Tredwell takes the first three Windies wickets with everyone else being slogged around the park.

    Am I in a parrallel universe?

  4. Alphamonkey – yes I we all are. Ravi Bopara is now taking wickets at the World Cup.

    England really have been ridiculous at this World Cup. I don’t care if they get knocked out. I have been entertained.

    Shits-and-giggles cricket is surely the way forward.

  5. I’m not sure which is least believable:

    1. Bopara getting picked.
    2. Bopara being trusted to bowl.
    3. Bopara being trusted to bowl IN A POWERPLAY
    4. 4 overs, 2 for 4 runs.

    1. Apologies Your Majesty – I thought he was in your list of heroes.

      I think the only way that this game could be anymore exciting was if I was watching it on Ceefax.

  6. I really didn’t appreciate the shits reference, KC. I have only just removed my brown trousers and put on some more sartorially elegant troos.

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