England in the 2011 World Cup group stages

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Gayle v Tredwell - there was only ever going to be one winner

Four wickets for two runs to record a win over the West Indies by 18 runs. That was the latest instalment of England’s ongoing experiment to see how much tension human beings can endure.

It’s just plain ridiculous now. It doesn’t matter who they pick, how they play, who they’re playing against, there is always one constant – tension that could prolapse your bowels.

This match featured Jonathan Trott hitting every other ball for four, Luke Wright salvaging the innings and James Tredwell and Ravi Bopara as the ‘go to’ bowlers when England bowled. What world are we living in?

Add in the fact that the West Indies dropped Shivnarine Chanderpaul and all we could do was search the house for Spider-man. We are clearly – CLEARLY – dreaming.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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    1. May I be the first to applaud James Tredwell’s gleaming forehead? It’s not easy to buff up a shine like that, you know? He’s clearly had time on his hands of late, since he’s also buffed his arms.

  1. …and as for the bowels reference in this posting, KC – on days like this such talk simply isn’t funny.

    Who needs colonic irrigation when you can watch England play cricket?

  2. I still haven’t calmed down. I was quite unable to do any work all afternoon. And the Mrs is away, so I will be allowed to watch the highlights on the big TV.

    If watching one day cricket wasn’t an offense punished by excommunication at the MCC I would suspect all this excitement was a conspiracy theory to kill off some of the older members.

  3. England have played like that old, frail great aunt.

    She’s never been well, and she’s always letting you know about it. She’s in and out of hospital. Doctors talk to you in hushed tones about how it’s time to say goodbye.

    Yet somehow she always seems to pull through. As the years pass her brothers and sisters go one by one, then her nephews and nieces but she’s still there and still complaining.

    England is one tough old lady.

  4. Forgive me while I go serious for a second, but Tredders is the second best English spinner. The surprise with which everyone greets his success betrays their ignorance of the 27th most exciting sporting tournament in Britain starting next month.

  5. and kind England have made 2 more dead rubbers unmissable high tension drama for their exhausted fans.

    That’s great Wolf – much better than ‘the creaking gate hangs the longest’ which until now has been how I think about a certain aged relative not on the distaff side of this family.

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