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Allen Stanford can be found through the simple method of conspicuously dropping some change

Bowled on 20th February, 2009 at 12:18 by King Cricket
Category: Stanford Super Series

I remember when I first fell in love with money - oh the smell of that quidYou probably saw yesterday that Mexican authorities had a mooch around one of Stanford’s private planes. There were some cheques in there which were allegedly related to the Gulf cartel, Mexico’s most violent gang. Now the media are hinting that Allen Stanford is involved in money laundering.

As we said the other day: Millonaires, billionaires? They’ve all done something wrong. When money is that big a priority – which you can safely assume it is with millionaires and billionaires – their priorities are warped and inhuman.

If you were run over in a public car park and the only person there to help you was a billionaire, they’d walk straight past you and check the ticket machine to see if there was a quid in the tray where the change comes out.

If you were dying of thirst in the Gobi desert and a billonaire was there with a bottle of water, they’d charge you a quid for it.

If you had a heart attack while returning your trolley at the supermarket and there was only a billonaire to help you, they’d step on you and take your trolley back to claim the quid.

In short, if there’s a quid in the area, that’s all a billionaire will think about. They love pound coins.

We are still a bit mental about slow cookers but think we can get the meat to come out "stickier"

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  1. Reply
    Ne   //   February 20th, 2009 at 14:51

    dammit, they found him before i had chance to pimp this piece of fine art out more
    http://scienceandpies.tumblr.com/post/79666649/wheres-alan

    It seems that that picture is in Virginia.

  2. Reply
    Bert   //   February 20th, 2009 at 15:16

    Eh, have they found him? Bugger. I’ve been searching the picture non-stop since you put it up a few days ago, Ne, and I couldn’t see him. At least I can get some sleep now.

  3. Reply
    King Cricket   //   February 20th, 2009 at 15:37

    That picture has made my eyes hurt. I’m glad he’s turned up.

  4. Reply
    Ne   //   February 20th, 2009 at 15:48

    I’ve added a link to a bigger image if you’re too old…

    He’s in there though…

  5. Reply
    Dave   //   February 20th, 2009 at 19:34

    I can’t seem to find him Ne, but I’m fairly sure I saw Lord Lucan in there.

  6. Reply
    Enkidu   //   February 21st, 2009 at 15:49

    The guy with a fez on towards the middle of the picture looks like Ricky Ponting. Well well well, the plot thickens.

  7. Reply
    Ged Ladd   //   February 21st, 2009 at 18:40

    As a well-known billionaire (I always carry ZIM$1B in my pocket) I really resent your prejudice, KC.

    It’s just as well for you that you don’t charge for your subscription or else I might well have decided to cancel, in time-honoured fashion, to save a few bob.

  8. Reply
    King Cricket   //   February 22nd, 2009 at 11:02

    We are thinking of charging a quid for life membership in order to weed out the billionaires.

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