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Is Jacques Kallis a boring batsman?

Bowled on 16th December, 2009 at 16:33 by King Cricket
Category: Jacques Kallis, South Africa

Jacques Kallis is not fully boring, just quite boringWell, maybe a bit, but Jacques Kallis’s reputation seems to be etched in stone now and nothing he ever does will change it.

“He just accumulates,” said Nasser Hussain shortly after Kallis passed 100. ‘Didn’t he drop to one knee and thock the ball over the boundary at one point?’ we asked. Nasser didn’t answer, because he was on telly.

For pretty much his whole career, Kallis has been South Africa’s best batsman. For quite a long time, he’ll have felt (and probably been told) that he couldn’t get out. It takes a lot to undo that kind of mindset. He is still one of the finest batsmen and, technically, exercising restraint when you can play all the shots is an attribute in itself.

Kind of a boring attribute though.

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  1. Reply
    Sandeep K   //   December 16th, 2009 at 17:18

    Kallis personifies everything that’s good about test cricket.. you are calling him boring because maybe you are just pissed off as England don’t seem to have a clue how to get him out!!!

  2. Reply
    Tim   //   December 16th, 2009 at 17:38

    Kallis’ batting is like when my friend found an envelope full of cash on the floor and handed it in at the police station. You know it’s right, and somewhere, deep down, you’re secretly impressed. But really, you just wish he’d spunk it everywhere.

    Homoerotic overtone intended.

  3. Reply
    King Cricket   //   December 16th, 2009 at 17:43

    Sandeep, ‘maybe a bit’ is hardly laying into him for being boring, is it?

    Mostly, we’re defending him here. We’re certainly not ‘pissed off’.

  4. Reply
    Sandeep K   //   December 16th, 2009 at 17:51

    Maybe I interpreted it “a bit” wrong

  5. Reply
    Darren   //   December 16th, 2009 at 18:35

    A couple spicy facts.

    Fastest test match 50? Kallis.

    Most test match sixes by a South African? Kallis.

    But yeah, he’s mostly quite boring. And we love him for it.

  6. Reply
    Deep Cower   //   December 16th, 2009 at 20:42

    “Kallis” in Afrikaans means “Walking Valium”. True Story.

  7. Reply
    Vim   //   December 16th, 2009 at 20:50

    If he’d been English, Freddie would have had to do a John the Baptist impersonation as the real job was already taken.

    He’s ace. He is technically splendid, can play all the shots, fab slips fielder and bowls swing.

    AND he is real lardass. What’s not to like?

  8. Reply
    King Cricket   //   December 16th, 2009 at 21:33

    Also, he was in the best advert featuring a cricketer EVER.

  9. Reply
    Vim   //   December 16th, 2009 at 21:38

    You did know he didn’t get paid for that ad, didn’t you? He was proud to bring sheep-burying to the masses.

    There’s no flies on Jaques. Or at least there isn’t once the manky old sheep is 6 feet under.

  10. Reply
    Ged   //   December 16th, 2009 at 23:23

    Kallis is organised.

  11. Reply
    Ed   //   December 17th, 2009 at 00:56

    Kallis is also out.

    Oh, actually he’s not. My mistake.

    D. Charlton is a tosser.

    Ged is a tosser

    Bert is a tosser.

    668 is a tosser

    Ceci is a tosser

    Mahinda is a tosser

    Where’s Brian? I liked Brian.

    Sorry terribly pissed.

  12. Reply
    Ed   //   December 17th, 2009 at 00:59

    Sorry:

    Sarah – comma – Canterbury is a tosser.

  13. Reply
    King Cricket   //   December 17th, 2009 at 09:00

    That was weird.

    Not so pissed that you couldn’t put something in bold using html.

    Impressive.

  14. Reply
    Stevo   //   March 12th, 2011 at 15:07

    Yes very boring.

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