Is Jacques Kallis a boring batsman?

Jacques Kallis is not fully boring, just quite boringWell, maybe a bit, but Jacques Kallis’s reputation seems to be etched in stone now and nothing he ever does will change it.

“He just accumulates,” said Nasser Hussain shortly after Kallis passed 100. ‘Didn’t he drop to one knee and thock the ball over the boundary at one point?’ we asked. Nasser didn’t answer, because he was on telly.

For pretty much his whole career, Kallis has been South Africa’s best batsman. For quite a long time, he’ll have felt (and probably been told) that he couldn’t get out. It takes a lot to undo that kind of mindset. He is still one of the finest batsmen and, technically, exercising restraint when you can play all the shots is an attribute in itself.

Kind of a boring attribute though.

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14 Appeals

  1. Kallis personifies everything that’s good about test cricket.. you are calling him boring because maybe you are just pissed off as England don’t seem to have a clue how to get him out!!!

  2. Kallis’ batting is like when my friend found an envelope full of cash on the floor and handed it in at the police station. You know it’s right, and somewhere, deep down, you’re secretly impressed. But really, you just wish he’d spunk it everywhere.

    Homoerotic overtone intended.

  3. King Cricket

    December 16, 2009 at 5:43 pm

    Sandeep, ‘maybe a bit’ is hardly laying into him for being boring, is it?

    Mostly, we’re defending him here. We’re certainly not ‘pissed off’.

  4. Maybe I interpreted it “a bit” wrong

  5. A couple spicy facts.

    Fastest test match 50? Kallis.

    Most test match sixes by a South African? Kallis.

    But yeah, he’s mostly quite boring. And we love him for it.

  6. “Kallis” in Afrikaans means “Walking Valium”. True Story.

  7. If he’d been English, Freddie would have had to do a John the Baptist impersonation as the real job was already taken.

    He’s ace. He is technically splendid, can play all the shots, fab slips fielder and bowls swing.

    AND he is real lardass. What’s not to like?

  8. King Cricket

    December 16, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    Also, he was in the best advert featuring a cricketer EVER.

  9. You did know he didn’t get paid for that ad, didn’t you? He was proud to bring sheep-burying to the masses.

    There’s no flies on Jaques. Or at least there isn’t once the manky old sheep is 6 feet under.

  10. Kallis is organised.

  11. Kallis is also out.

    Oh, actually he’s not. My mistake.

    D. Charlton is a tosser.

    Ged is a tosser

    Bert is a tosser.

    668 is a tosser

    Ceci is a tosser

    Mahinda is a tosser

    Where’s Brian? I liked Brian.

    Sorry terribly pissed.

  12. Sorry:

    Sarah – comma – Canterbury is a tosser.

  13. King Cricket

    December 17, 2009 at 9:00 am

    That was weird.

    Not so pissed that you couldn’t put something in bold using html.


  14. Yes very boring.

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