< 1 minute read We heard that England were playing Australia yesterday, but we didn’t pay any attention. We’re not going to bother checking, but it’s pretty safe to assume that England won handsomely. Comments to the contrary will be vigorously deleted. Yes, you can delete something ‘vigorously’ – but only when that something
Continue readingMonth: September 2007
India beat Pakistan after a bowl out
< 1 minute read Why must they play these matches at pub o’clock on a Friday? It was probably gripping, but we wouldn’t know because the only gripping we were experiencing was from our own hand around various overpriced European wheat beers. The last word in that sentence rather explains the ham-fisted punnery that
Continue readingSri Lanka win a record
< 1 minute read It’s the oh-so-rare 12″ version of Blue Monday by New Order. No, not really. They just won a game by a record margin. ‘Win’ is a noun in this instance. Oh the fun of pretending that nouns are in fact verbs. Don’t say you don’t get value for money at
Continue readingBangladesh knock out West Indies
2 minute read We’re brilliant at this whole ‘identifying players to watch during the World Cup‘ thing, just so long as you’re not too rigid about which World Cup we were talking about. Chris Gayle might have gone for a duck yesterday, but earlier in the tournament he hit the first ever international
Continue readingRahul Dravid resigns Indian captaincy
< 1 minute read He was a reluctant captain. He was a reluctant wicketkeeper. When will people realise: All Rahul Dravid is interested in is batting. And batting and batting and batting. Fancy a bowl, Rahul?
Continue readingKevin Pietersen shows the Aussies how it’s done
< 1 minute read ‘It’ being ‘scoring runs against Zimbabwe’. Despite forgetting that he was right-handed for much of his innings, everyone’s most/least favourite bludgeoner hit 79 off 37 balls after England had lost a few early wickets. England also won by quite a margin, opening up the possibility that they could knock Australia
Continue readingKent v Yorkshire Pro40 match report
< 1 minute read From what would appear to be our Kent Pro40 correspondent, Lemon Bella: I forgot that this match started an hour earlier than usual, so I didn’t have time to get lunch ready. This meant I arrived at the ground armed only with some dried apricots and a bottle of water.
Continue readingShahid Afridi starts his World Cup
2 minute read Because the Twenty20 World Cup is Shahid Afridi’s, surely. Against Scotland yesterday, he hit 22 off seven balls, which is actually useful in Twenty20 cricket and then took 4-19, which is useful in any form of cricket. We originally thought that Twenty20 cricket wouldn’t show Afridi in his best light.
Continue readingAustralia lose to Zimbabwe
< 1 minute read What’s this in our underwear? It’s urine. It’s gallons and gallons of urine produced during uncontrollable laughter at how Australia lost to Zimbabwe in the Twenty20 World Cup. It’s been a long time since anyone’s really been able to remark upon an Australian defeat. There was England’s win in the
Continue readingShoaib Akhtar attains fiftieth headline since he last played a game
< 1 minute read At least the recent news proves that Shoaib can still hold a bat. We were starting to wonder whether he was actually a cricketer at all or just some sort of soap opera character planted to raise the profile of the Pakistani national side. We’ve included a picture of him
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