England v Australia, third Test, day four – match report

Lisa writes:

I was sitting upstairs on the bus with TMS on my headphones on my way to meet some friends in the pub when a middle-aged gentleman came up the stairs and started handing out what looked like flyers. Grateful that the headphones meant I didn’t have to say anything more than ‘thank you’, I took one to be polite and noticed that it was in fact a little comic/booklet called ‘The Execution’.

The story of Sonny, his rat and his evil ways was very dramatic.

He just looks evil

The way his kindly mother remains committed in her love despite his constant vicious rejection of her (and her cookies) was very moving. I was in tears (although not exactly of grief) when she persuades the authorities to allow her to be hanged in his place, in a strikingly subtle metaphor for the sacrifice of Christ.

Somehow she sacrificed herself so that he might live

The sudden dramatic change in both illustration and prose style to dense evangelical proselytising and airbrushed Messiah poses that followed this revelation was also something to behold, especially the final panel condemning non-believers to eternal damnation.”

Shit!

Just as I had reached the last page of the booklet and was deciding that I would probably be ticking the ‘no’ box in response to the question, “Did you accept Jesus Christ as your own personal Saviour?” there was a massive bang as the bus hit a taxi. Or rather as a taxi hit the bus. This was obviously a Sign.

Luckily we were nearly at Highbury Corner but I still had much to ponder as I walked up the Holloway Road through crowds of Arsenal and Rangers supporters pouring out of the Emirates. (I couldn’t work out who had won, although the ‘Gers fans looked slightly grimmer [and balder]).

There were no football-types at the Prince Edward so I was able to greet my friends with equanimity, although the looming presence of Holloway Prison meant I could not forget the Message of the booklet.

The conversation flowed and as I am a lady I was able to multi-task: take part in the conversation and listen to Aggers and co. from Edgbaston. No-one noticed that my mind was partially elsewhere until I started when something happened at the cricket. I am loath to mention it except that just at that moment ‘Amusing Pseudonymous Name’ was describing how his mother was finally showing signs of recovery from a devastating nervous breakdown and my split attention did not go down well.

Even when I explained that Katich had fallen, there was little sympathy and it was suggested that I should get my priorities straight. Maybe The Execution had much to teach me after all.

Send your match reports to king@kingcricket.co.uk and on no account mention the cricket itself.

For the full story of The Execution, see here. Our favourite section is when the criminal says to his mother: “I hate you… and your cookies!”

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21 Appeals

  1. Hahaha, that’s a Chick Tract! They are awesome. This one builds up its anti-evolution arguments to the brilliant conclusion that Jesus holds atomic nuclei together.

  2. Thanks for the larfs. Boy I needed that.

  3. that comic started off really well.

  4. You’ve got to admit that they have a point, though. I mean, if evolution is true, how come Giles Clarke exists, eh?

  5. Lisa

    As it’s some months after the event, how is your friend’s mother? Has she finally recovered from her breakdown?

  6. Man, those Chick Tracts creep me out.

    I do feel a bit for Sonny, mind you. How might things have turned out if his mother had only made better cookies?

  7. Dandy Dan,

    I think she’s on a more even keel now. Not perfect but coping after treatment.

  8. I really ought to have checked on the Chick website before scanning it (badly).

    Here‘s a much clearer version online.

  9. Is it me or does Jesus look a hell (sorry) of a lot like Mahendra Singh Dhoni in that cartoon?

  10. Not sure what the Katich reference is doing in there – that is a real sin.

    Or maybe Katich had fallen to save all of us.

    But awesome report – thank you Lisa.

  11. firstly, he has Hitler for a warden. secondly, the rat seemed to have a pretty decent time. I wouldn’t mind spending some time in this comic world.

  12. incidentally, what do the cookies represent?

  13. Cookies could mean unstinting/undemanding affection. Maybe nurturing, thus the nurturing love of Christ. Or something.

    I’ve always wondered if he rat represents anything specific, apart from general malevolence.

  14. Cookies could be bread/wafer, thus the body of Christ. Taking the Lord inside oneself etc. Although that’s probably a bit Papist for Evangelicals.

    – I’ve had too long to think about it…

  15. Lisa,
    No – scanning the comic made it much more authentic in my opinion. Providing a link would’ve been ok, but the scanned pics say “Here’s the proof that I was there” or something…

    Tim
    Dhoni IS Jesus, silly.

  16. Hang on, is this comic advertising for Christianity or making fun of it? It’s hard to tell…

  17. This is the best piece of proselytizing I have read in days.

  18. I think the rejection of the mother’s cookies is an indication that Sonny was unable to return affection.

    It’s in the same mould as “when Eddie said he didn’t love his teddy, we knew he was a no-good kid”.

    Except the criminologist/Eddie stuff is meant to be for laughs.

    When Katich fell, did he depart into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels, or did he merely return to the pavilion? Given that this uncalled for fact about Katich was mentioned in the report, I think we at least should know the answer to that question.

  19. Lisa

    Good to hear about your friends mother. Maybe they would have been more understanding if it was Ponting who had gone?

  20. I hate the Holloway Road! [With or without crowds of Arsenal and whatever supporters pouring out of the Emirates..]

  21. I’ve got half a dozen of those pamphlets squirreled away somewhere. They’re absolute[ly] crackers!

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