England’s next bowling coach

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Ian Austin's exquisite bowling actionA lot of big names are being bandied about – Allan Donald, Jason Gillespie, Darren Gough and Shaun Pollock, to name but a few – but why is no-one talking about Ian Austin?

Ex-Lancashire medium-pacer, Ian Austin, could bring a lot to the job. Imagine a fabulous foursome of rotund bowlers wobbling in and going at 0.8 runs an over for the duration of a Test match. If there’s one thing England lack, it’s a fat sod who bowls innocuous-looking deliveries which are actually impossible to hit. Ian Austin could nurture such a bowler.

Failing that, we would accept former Zimbabwean chicken farmer, Eddo Brandes – or a robot.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. When I type “fat cricket bowler” into google images by far and away the majority of pictures that come up are of Shoaib Ahktar.

    By your reasoning he would be the logical choice. Quite apart from on field skills there are other things he could pass on to the next generation of English cricketers.

    You know it makes sense.

  2. Excellent

    Ian Austin and I have a lot in common and I would love to see fat dibbly dobbler bowlers succeed.

  3. Just got caught – Australian banker style, looking at ‘fat cricketer’ pics on Google!

  4. Sandeep. Sounds like a good appointment. I’m pretty confident he could teach KP a thing or two in the field.

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