At the age of 28. Uninjured. We’ve been here before, haven’t we?
James Bruce is going one better than Alex frigging Loudon though. He’s moving into a career ‘in the city’. He’s got a job with ABN Amro Bank, who we’ve never heard of but instantly hate anyway.
Where we live, working ‘in the city’ merely means that you have to get the bus to your wage-slavery in the mornings, but we’re led to believe it means something entirely different in Old Etonian circles – something dull and smug.
Why can’t these people wait five seconds before leaping into the tiresome, predictable careers they were always destined for. Bruce and Loudon had jobs where they gambolled about outdoors in a perpetual summer. They’ve traded that for uncomfortable shoes and handshaking.
If that’s how smart you are, you’re not destined for much success in any career in our book – and as has been previously established, our book is The Book Of Indisputable Facts.
Hampshire’s coach, Paul Terry, didn’t go overboard when asked about Bruce either: “It’s not an exaggeration to say, in the right conditions, he has become one of the better English-born bowlers.” Steady on there, Paul. Let’s not get too carried away.
On the other hand, do we even want these half-arsed cricketers clogging up the game? As Agent Dwight Harris says in The Sopranos: “Maybe Darwin was right – nature really does weed out all the nimrods.”