Yuvraj Singh can actually play deliveries that bounce above his knees

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Flaying our PC into outer frigging spaceWe’ve had a computer that hated the internet FOR ALL IT WAS WORTH for the last two days, so we’re a bit behind. We’re going to try and catch up, so brace yourselves for some three sentence updates that completely miss the point of what’s been going on.

Yuvraj Singh actually scored some runs in Australia was one thing that happened. He didn’t score them against Australia, but still – it’s a start. Yuvraj Singh has shamed us with his front-footed incompetence this tour and we’re not going to forgive him for ages.

Having now forgiven Yuvraj Singh, we henceforth urge him to take a leaf out of Kumar Sangakkara’s book. Now there’s a man who can score runs in Australia. There’s a man who does little else.

To return to the subject of the first paragraph, can anyone think of a suitable award for the top-level human who fixed our computer after hearing about 15 words of our description as to what was happening? This was after Major Corporation One had used three employees and five hours to tell us to take it down to Major Corporation Two and after Major Corporation Two had taken an hour or more to tell us it was ‘either a software or a hardware issue’.

We’re thinking of getting him a King of Morocco. They’re still available, right? That or a huge pair of hands clad in diamonds doing the ‘thumbs up’ gesture. Yes. That’s what we’ll get him, unless any of you have got a better suggestion.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. Two things.

    What is a King Of Morocco, besides being a human being that needs his head cut off, by flaxen haired, ageing all-rounders?

    And secondly, Where can I find the diamond hands, doing thumbs up.
    I thought Paul McCartney had the only pair around?

    Thirdly, after catching the last fifteen minutes of the Brit Awards last night, why did Mark Chapman stop with John Lennon!

    Fourthly, surely a King Of Spain mug would be good enough for IT Geeky fella.

  2. No. That is nowhere near good enough.

    A King of Morocco is just that. No code. No double meaning. A monarch of a north African country.

    He deserves no less.

  3. Get him a kitten. People LOVE unexpected animal presents, don’t they?

    Or get him a bottle opener shaped like a cricket ball. A mystery person sent me one last week, and it’s a good present.

  4. If we had a bottle opener shaped like a cricket ball we wouldn’t be parting with it.

    It would have to be a particularly special kitten, like the strongest kitten in the world or one that could travel through time.

  5. A bottle opener shaped like a cricket ball? Genius!

    Last week, eh?

    *counts days*

    It wasn’t a St. Valentine’s day gift from a mysterious admirer, by any chance?

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