Paul Collingwood hits England’s fastest fifty

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Collingwood hits a six under the watchful eye of a heavily disguised McCullumPaul Collingwood, a man of incomparable aceness right now – in fact a man so ace he’s forcing full-grown men to write like 11-year-olds – hit England’s fastest ever fifty at some point in the recent past.

Hitting England’s fastest ever fifty is a bit like being Australia’s most debonair slaughterhouse worker, but being as Collingwood only took 24 balls to reach the mark, maybe we should all keep our eyes peeled for bon-viveur moustache-twirlers amidst the gore of Bendigo abattoirs.

To Paul Collingwood! [Raises empty glass and realises it’s time to stop writing about things from the past that are to be published in the future in favour of more pressing matters.]

New Zealand v England, fourth one-day international at Napier
England 340-6 (Phil Mustard 83, Alastair Cook 69, Paul Collingwood 54, Kevin Pietersen 50)
New Zealand 340-7 (Jamie How 139, Brendon McCullum 58)
Match tied.


  1. Who Brendan McCullum?

    Or Paul Collingwood?

    Did he call you fat? Did he accuse your brother of being a nonce?

    Janet, are you taking too many slimming pills again, you crazy thing!

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