The campaign to get Paul Collingwood into England’s Ashes squad

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Photo by Sarah Ansell

What else does nostalgia prove, if not that everything was better in the past?

Let’s do the who, the what and the why.

Who?

Paul Collingwood.

Paul is 41 and hasn’t played Test cricket for England since 2011, so the first thing to say in favour of his selection is that it would be heart-warmingly, life-affirmingly optimistic.

What?

Selection for the Ashes. We want Paul Collingwood in England’s Ashes squad. We want him to play in the Ashes.

It looks like there might be an opening for an all-rounder, but frankly he’s a far better bat than most of the lads they’re taking anyway, so we feel he should be included in the squad as a specialist.

That really is the nub of it: there’s no-one else better.

Why?

Collingwood hit three hundreds and averaged 60 in the County Championship this year. James Vince averaged 30 and he’s in the squad.

Also, he’s just ace.

They wouldn’t even need to book another flight as he’s going anyway as part of the coaching staff. His selection would therefore be cost effective.

There is, quite simply, no way that this is a bad idea.

In summary

Paul Collingwood MUST be added to England’s Ashes squad because…

  1. His selection would be heart-warmingly, life-affirmingly optimistic
  2. It would also be cost effective
  3. There’s no-one else better

Update

There’s now a petition. You can sign it here.

21 comments

  1. Full stops are not yet part of nostalgia, are they? P. S. Similar genre, similar generation. What do we think of Yuvraj Singh and his in/ex – clusion from India limited overs teams? P. P. S – can’t hurt.

  2. You haven’t suddenly started counting second division runs, have you, KC?

    How is that going to pan out when Nick Gubbins, Sam Robson, Nick Compton, John Simpson, Stevie Eskinazi and others score countless runs next season?

    It’s a shame you strayed down that path, because the rest of your argument was spot on.

      1. We’ll make you redundant, if you’re not careful.

        What’s that? Unpaid and you don’t particularly want to do it anyway, you say? Well we’ve heard it all now.

      2. I for one applaud Prince Prefab’s interventions on this web site.

        You tell me to shhh when I point out a flaw in your logic and you threaten to make Prince Prefab redundant when he points out a flaw in your grammar.

        Who do you think you are, KC, the King of Spain?

    1. So do we. They are excellent. But sadly not every eventuality is covered, so sometimes we have to make do.

  3. If we’re counting second division runs, I will again suggest Mark Cosgrove. Scored more runs than Collingwood, playing for a substantially worse side.

    Got more experience of playing in Australia than any other option.

    1. Should definitely have been England. On the doorstep and the match would have attracted wider interest.

      We’re excited to see an Ireland v Pakistan Test though.

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