Running out a player who’s on the deck

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We like a bit of ruthlessness, but there’s a fairly clear line between ‘ruthlessness’ and ‘being a dick’. We call it the ‘being a dick line’ and we always try and stay the right side of it. England didn’t.

Ryan Sidebottom went after the ball and inadvertently decked Grant Elliott who was in the process of taking a quick single. While Elliott writhed around with a suspected broken spine, England ran him out.

At this point, everyone felt a bit uncomfortable, so the umpires rather generously said to Paul Collingwood: “Er, are you sure?” Paul Collingwood said ‘yes’.

Then the umpires said: “No, no, Paul, you’re not getting us. Are you… sure?” while raising their eyebrows and looking him straight in the eye.

Paul Collingwood said ‘yes’.

Then, later on, once England had lost and New Zealand were a bit calmer, Paul Collingwood went into the Kiwi dressing room and apologised. Then Daniel Vettori told some lies about how they’d forgiven Collingwood because he’d had the decency to apologise.

Then everyone pretended nothing had happened. Of course in the fifth one-day international New Zealand will appeal after every ball Collingwood faces.


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  1. ‘Correct’ being the side without a big, hefty, hairy bowler bearing down on you.

  2. The Kiwis won’t have to serial-appeal now now that Colly has been banned. Bet he wouldn’t have been given such a swingeing sentence if he’d taken back the appeal. PAH!

    Still – if the arse KP captains England I won’t have to support them and suffer agonies as they self destruct again.

  3. And New Zealand would never consider taking advantage of an unusual situation to get a runout now would they! Anyway taking a quick single in the vicinity of Bulkybottom is always going to be risky.

    But KP as captain, that is quite some punishment!

  4. Wandering out of your crease before the ball’s dead is bit different to a high-speed collision with thirteen stone of Yorkshireman, SixSixEight!

  5. I for one am enjoying the spectacle of cricket becoming a full contact sport.

    I hear the Black Caps are considering drafting All Black mid-fielder Ma’a Nonu as a lower middle order batsman. That way any future mid-pitch collisions will be in their favour.

  6. KC and co,

    Is there much comment in England about the silly way that Vettori and co had their little hissy fit?

    Because I, for one, am pretty embarrassed about it.

  7. Legbreak,

    I can only speak for myself, but I think the only people who should feel embaressed over Wednesday’s debacle is the England cricket team. Their behavior was bang out of order and I have to wonder whether the same thing would have happened if Mr Stanford hadn’t organised that 20 over knock about.

  8. randominanity,

    Ma’a Nonu in the Black Caps… that made my day! Forget this IPL crap with its handbags and bling – let’s have contact cricket!

    No, wait, forget it. The SAffers will win everything.

  9. If it does go full contact at least Rob Key is assured a game for England again.

    The mighty Key would be able to use his weeble-esque stature to great effect, you just wouldn’t be able to keep the man down!

  10. Wait until Jessie comes back guys…

    Ed; I hear what you’re saying, but I felt we (Vettori and Styris) let ourselves down badly too.

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