Simon Katich grabs Michael Clarke by the throat

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Simon Katich went for Michael Clarke in the dressing rooms after Australia beat South Africa at the SCG last month.

You can’t blame him. If we were in the same team as Michael Clarke, we’d probably have drawn up some sort of schedule as to which days we were going to punch him square in his smug face. The punch-in-the-face days would be the ones when we could bear to be in the same room as him.

The argument was a hugely worthy one. Michael Clarke wanted the team to sing their team song earlier than usual. Simon Katich presumably didn’t.

Clarke wanted the song sung by 11pm, but only The Custodian Of The Song can decide when it is sung. Mike Hussey currently holds this sacred post and he decided that the song should be sung at nearly midnight. We’ve suddenly warmed to Mike Hussey.

All this is true, by the way. We should make that clear. We’re not averse to making stuff about the Australians, but on this occasion we’re innocent and they’re mental, rather than vice versa.


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  1. Ankit, that would’ve got the whole team smashing up!

    He wanted it sung early so he could slink off to see The Bingle.

    Hussey decides when it’s sung, not that snivelling little shitbag. Also, as someone (sorry to whoever it was, it might of been Jrod) pointed out that three of the last rows that have happened in Australian cricket have all involved Michael Clarke.

    He’s obviously in need of a slap, and is regularly getting it.

    Now if ony someone would do the same to Ian Bell!

  2. Anyone have any idea what the Autralian winners song is?

    Australia has not got the greatest record in producing decent music anyway,

  3. The Locomotion — Kylie
    Down Under — Men at Work

    Erm…that leaves Cabbage Garden, Imbruglia and t’other Minoguely. Oh.

    I’d LOVE IT if the Aussie XI got down to the chorus from Down Under, complete with actions, after every win.

  4. Hee hee – I always knew that under the veneer of cricketty bonhomie and cheeriness O King, there lurked a character assassin with a sharpened dagger ready to give someone a really good stabbing.

  5. Great!!!

    Quality 1 : Punchable face
    Quality 2 : long flowing arm hair
    Quality 3 : spitting on hands

    All he needs is to cultivate Quality 3, and have some of Katich’s chest hair planted on his arms and we have a replacement captain for the disappointing Punter.

  6. As Suave says, he wanted to get off to see the Bingle. Have you seen her? It would probably be more fun spending time with her than a bunch of Australian cricketers.

  7. Having just had some of the lyrics of “under the southern cross” said to me, I am TOTALLY with Katich on this one. This song simply cannot be sung sober.

  8. Exactly *what* were they celebrating for so late that night?! the fact that they barely scraped through or the fact that they got a royal thrashing in the series? I guess when victories are so few and far in between, you take what you can get.

  9. What a bunch of perfect dodos these guys are… they should really be sent to etiquette school before they’re allowed on the field.

    They can keep trashing themselves up in the dressing room though, however what sucks is that they remain rowdy even when they leave it to enter the field.

  10. Jeez, what a fremantling laugh!! You Poms could barely scrape 56 runs!

    so, did Fred go out the night before and renew his acquaintance with that pedalo again? Sound like most of your crap-arse team must have been with him.

  11. Get your facts straight, Steve.

    England didn’t get anywhere near 56.

    And they were stone cold sober. God knows what they would have mustered if they’d had a few.

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