Some horror involving Alec Stewart

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Alec Stewart horrifies


“Discretionary wealth managers JM Finn & Co have appointed legendary former England wicket keeper Alec Stewart as their brand ambassador.”

And another tiny piece of all of us dies.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. So you instigated it! This is why I started a Republique in the first place. I may have to get the aging ginger all-rounders back in full fighting mode!

    1. To clarify, we’re only in favour of actual, literal mat fitting. You can call Glen, Colly and Polly off.

    1. I admire how he is facing such hostile bouncers with no pads and no helmet.

      Viv Richards would be very happy

  2. Middle-aged man half-arsedly plays cricket for money. You could make some sort of league based on that concept.

  3. This lot can’t even put a set of stumps in properly – how could you trust them with your money with that lack of attention to detail?

  4. A mate of mine in the Building trade who know NOTHING about creeket nor has any interest, was invited to a day of LVCC cricket at The Fosters Fizzy Lager Beer in a glass or out of a can Oval.

    There were many men from the City in his box (Mark Nicholas look-alikes, I imagine – where did he get the idea that merging the end of one sentence into the start of the next one without any pause was a good idea?).

    He said they got so drunk that they didn’t watch any of the cricket.

    So what’s wrong with that?

    PS Will Alec now be brifed on such phrases as Return on Investment or Price to Earnings Ratio, perhaps? Another great Alec would be turning in his grave. (And so would his brother)

  5. PPS I look forward to Alec demonstrating his knowledge about the Brand’s core values and how these get integrated through their communications while maximising website synergy with all their above the line advertising, below the line promotional and not forgetting all their direct sales-force lead activities and public relations drip feed as well as special event big impact tactical initiatives.

  6. Matthew Hayden. What few know is that he has long been the guru of marketing amongst ex cricketers.

    David Ogilvie once confessed that Matty knew more than he did about TV advertising and it’s powere to build brand image.

  7. Discretionary wealth managers? Presume they’re paying him in discreet plain brown envelopes then

  8. Are they managers of discretionary wealth, or is it the wealth managers themselves that are discretionary? This is a very important point, because in the first case I can choose to ignore the tossers, whereas in the second case I can choose to ignore the tossers.

  9. The man languidly swerves away from a 102 mph* bouncer with such effortless grace and all you people can do is make fun of him. For shame KC!

    * To arrive at the number, I measured the position of the ball on my screen and marked an imaginary point where it would have been half a second ago, and used the formula velocity=distance I can cover in my work-related project/time I waste on shit like this.

  10. Reckon they smacked the stumps in with the face of the bat? And what’s wrong with Costcutter? It’s good enough for Darren Gough.

  11. On a different subject –

    ID Blackwell: 125

    SR Patel: 81

    ME Trescothick: 118*

    The fat lads are coming good.

    (Maybe a bit harsh on Trescothick but I couldn’t think of a third.)

  12. Tomorrow is going to be one of the greatest days in the history of our great nation…

    …Middlesex are going to stuff Surrey big time…

    …and all you can write about is this nonsense?

    Perspective, please, KC.

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