Steve Harmison takes a hat trick

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A hat trick! Hat tricks are good!

Lolloping ganglatron of mental fragility, Steve Harmison, took a hat-trick against champions Sussex over the weekend. We’re more interested in his opening spell during Sussex’s first innings though, where at one point he’d taken 2-7 off 11 overs.

Moping about in county cricket in a state of permanent ill-temper will do Harmison the power of good. If he gets to the point where he not only thinks he deserves to be in the England side, but is offended by being omitted, he’ll have attained a level of confidence he hasn’t seen in years.

The Steve Harmison who we all wanted Steve Harmison to become might yet come about. Not for a while though. Everyone look away and pretend you’re not interested.

This EXCLUSIVE photograph of the aftermath of Harmison’s hat trick was sent in by 668 Neighbour of the Beast. We haven’t had an exclusive since those ‘postal covers‘ two years ago – and they were only exclusive by default. No-one else could be bothered publishing anything about them.


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  1. Sorry, what’s the photo got to do with the story? I thought it was about Ex-Commuicated England Bowler Stephen James Harmison, born October 23, 1978, Ashington, Northumberland, but then there’s a picture of someone smiling…

  2. Suave, you took the words right out of my mouth re “lolloping ganglatron of mental fragility”! I’d copied it to my clipboard and everything, ready to paste-and-praise!

  3. Had prior viewing of this lovely pic hence the lustful dribble on it. Sorry but there’s also B Harmison, the Colonel, Mich “Lips” Clayden… goodness…

  4. Thank goodness you clarified this Ceci – all I could see was a pool of saliva from which a Lady of the Lake style arm was raised in triumph.

  5. Thank goodness you clarified this Ceci – all I could see was a pool of saliva from which a Lady of the Lake style arm raised in triumph.

  6. I don’t think they should ever pick him for England ever again. Then Durham will win the Championship – ahead of meek Kent, wasteful Surrey and all the other unworthy, village teams. Durham are mighty and will get mightier still.

    Harmy cries it if he’s not surrounded by either the North-East or North Easterners, so no point picking him for England.

    Good hat-trick Mel.

  7. No slight on Lancashire. Phew.

    Yes, we’re deliberately misunderstanding ‘unworthy village teams’.

    We like Durham anyway. Are Durham everyone’s second team? That’s ‘everyone’ other than Durham supporters, obviously.

  8. No one ever slights Middlesex anymore, is it because we are in league 2?

    My second team is Hampshire, for no real reason.

  9. Could be ‘everyone’ . Last year I was mistaken for a Middlesex fan by one of their number, when I put them right they said – ‘Ah yes everybody loves Durham, everyone’s second favorite team!’ So Durham is my team and my second team too.

  10. My 2nd is Sussex because I’m from there before I liked this bloody game, and I want to actually feel a vague association to a team that wins stuff. Go Bears…

  11. No one can slight Middlesex anymore, Soviet Onion, because Dirty Dirk Nannes plays for them

  12. Not much point in slighting Lancashire when they’ve got Mohammed Yousuf and he’s incapable of getting himself out.

    Though I should probably make a joke about them being Northern. Something about Yousuf speaking better English than the natives.

  13. Essex will always hold my heart at no1, but Surrey are no 2, since I moved to London..
    Any team that can play lard boy Jimmy Ormond is worth a punt in my eyes!

  14. PAH to your Pahs – Durham – the team everyone loves to love – are on their way to dominating cricket, the way Lancashire never have, the way Kent never can, and the way Surrey never will again.

    And it doesn’t matter that we’ve got no batsman – you only need to score 151 runs each innings if you keep bowling the opposition out for 150.

  15. Bats (hur!), what are they good for? Absolutely nothin’!

    That song’s going to be in my head for the rest of today.

  16. Mahinda – nice one! [Although I don’t really need a song in my head for the rest of the day right now, but now i’ve got this one too.]

  17. But Essssexxx have a chance this very weekend, with the north of the river derby. Playing that good on paper Middlesexxxxx. Will Dirty Dirk make a difference?

  18. I’m joining Mel in a ‘Pah!’ or three.

    And I don’t love Durham. If that makes me a freak of nature then I don’t care!

    Up Jimmy Ormond, I say! Well, not literally…

  19. Wooo! But are you someone who actively ‘hates’ Durham? Rarer than a southern Durham Fan perhaps?

    Support Surrey then? See you at Guilford! A ground where Surrey have foolishly chosen to forgo their ‘pigeon menace’ advantage! [ or so I assume – but maybe they have transported the coops down there already…..??]

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