Posh bloke. Played cricket. Retired in favour of a career in ‘business’.
Well, apparently he’s even posher than we had suspected.
Poshness is largely beyond our comprehension. If you turn your nose up at food that’s been on the floor, you fall into our ‘posh’ category and we struggle to distinguish different levels within that. However, even we know that being friends with Prince William makes you uber-posh.
Why are me mentioning this now? Well, apparently Alex Loudon is also going out with Kate Middleton’s sister, Pippa. We know this because very large numbers of Americans are landing on this page of ours.
Honestly, you have one opinion in the whole of your life and then four years later, people actually read it.
At the age of 27. Uninjured.
This is why we shouldn’t allow Old Etonians to become professional cricketers. What kind of a person gives up professional cricket in favour of ‘a career in business’?
Well congratulations, Alex. You’ll be shaking hands with people for a living before you know it. You can spend the next 30-odd years staring at spreadsheets and having meetings.
You can buy a pointless grey car and put your frigging golf clubs in the back. You can get a Mont Blanc pen and tell people about how you’ve got a Mont Blanc pen, watching their eyes glaze over before you’ve even finished the word ‘Blanc’.
You can go to bars with your mates, drink terrible alcohol at inflated prices and talk about how you can drive from one miserable office full of idiots to a different miserable office full of idiots faster than they can, learning to distinguish between different pointless grey cars in the process.
We’re sure you’ll cheer just as enthusiastically when you get that all-important third quarter contract as you did when you clean-bowled someone in a vital match. We’re sure the guys in Human Resources will give you just as much of an ovation as when you single-handedly won a cup match in front of a sell-out crowd.
It’s probably not necessary to tell you that I’m not particularly happy with Alex Loudon right at this minute.