Tag: Gary Kirsten

Gary Kirsten’s vision document for the India team

The Hindustan Times say they’ve got hold of a ‘vision document’ produced by Indian coach, Gary Kirsten.

It advises the players to try and increase their scoring rates (wink, wink, nudge, nudge) on the grounds that this will help create more testosterone that will in turn help the players be more aggressive on the pitch. However, partners are optional, it seems:

“If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine. No pillow talk and no hugging required. Just roll over and go to sleep.”

This is one of those occasions where we feel no need to elaborate upon a story. We’ve got to save the obvious jokes for the comments.

Then again…

  • Sachin Tendulkar’s dispatched one through the covers
  • Ishant Sharma’s knocked the middle pole back
  • Yuvraj Singh’s lifted one over the infield
  • MS Dhoni’s stolen a quick one
  • Ashish Nehra’s nipped one back through the gate
  • Rahul Dravid’s changing his grip

And we’ll end with: Harbhajan Singh’s struggling for purchase due to the moisture…


IPL is a lower standard of cricket

Over the last year or so, the IPL’s marketing/propaganda has been accepted to such an extent that players and journalists the world over have been lauding it as cricket not just called Twenty20, but from the year 2020 – way ahead of its time.

You can’t help but learn in that kind of environment, everyone says. All the players who play international cricket suddenly seem to get twice as good when they join an IPL side and their team mates get twice as good as a result of the internationals’ presence. Then the internationals learn from their innovative colleagues and before you know it, Don Bradman’s an underachiever and Malcolm Marshall’s a bowling novice.

Which makes it refreshing to hear India coach, Gary Kirsten, say the following:

“IPL is a domestic competition, a club competition in many respects. Whilst you have international ­players in the team, you’ve got first-class cricketers making up the rest. There was a ­reasonably big gap between what is ­happening at IPL and what is happening internationally and that is only natural.”

We like the IPL, but we are massively, hugely against it coming to be considered as more significant than international cricket.


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