Sometimes it’s okay to make use of the verb ‘to flob’. This usage is entirely justified.

While the world trains its gaze on Fake IPL Player or the IPL itself – or Ian Bell or Michael Vaughan or Philip Hughes – while the world trains its gaze on those events, bigger things are happening. Much bigger things. Things so big that Gregg’s isn’t worth visiting after 2pm because they’ve been CLEANED OUT.

Yes, fat cricketer Mark Cosgrove is BACK. This time it’s about being fat and scoring hundreds. Much like last time.

Mark Cosgrove has wasted no time and scored 120 against Middlesex today. Rumours that the Middlesex bowlers were weak through lack of nourishment after being tardy in getting to the lunch buffet are entirely unsupported by facts, but nevertheless probably true.