Australia and India sent to headmaster’s office

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2 minute read

You have to stop acting like this before you go to big school“Oh no. We’re going to get DONE. And, and, and. And Mark says that he’s got a cane, even though it’s against the law and that he’s even got a special stripey cane for when you’re REALLY bad.”

So now we all know why players say ‘what’s said on the pitch should stay on the pitch’. It’s because it all gets massively embarrassing otherwise.

After one player called another player something else and the ICC got an actual judge to sort it out (A JUDGE!), even though it was essentially one player’s word against another; and after the BCCI threatened to take its bat (and players) home when it didn’t get its own way; we now get Matthew Hayden calling names as well. He called Harbhajan Singh ‘an obnoxious weed’.

But that isn’t the best bit. That was what preceded it.

This is a quote so beautiful, we couldn’t believe our eyes when we first read it. It’s BCCI secretary Niranjan Shah in response to Ishant Sharma’s fine for aggressive behaviour and it’s so good it’s getting a paragraph of its own and appearing in italics.

“Basically the Australian players are starting the whole thing.”

‘But they started it.’ Has there ever been a stronger defense than that. That ALWAYS works, doesn’t it?

During the next match, we fully expect Ricky Ponting to fire his finger into the air when Australia are in the field and shout ‘TELLING’, before marching off to find a figure of authority.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. both boards should order players to tape their mouth for a while…with oz and indian team relations getting worse by time…last thing one wants is verbal diarrhea…

  2. There might be a fight, Suave, if Matthew Hayden’s latest comments are anything to go by. He’d like to “get into the ring” with Ishant Sharma. He’s 19! Pick on someone your own age (and size), Hayden. Or at least a bear. That fight-back will be funny.

  3. Any time there is an onfield incident that disrupts the game in terms of completing the required overs. All members involved should be banned for a game. No inquiries, no nothing. Including the umpires.

    As long as you bowl 90 overs a day you can call anyone anything.

    If you blurt out what happened on the field outside, deal with the consequences. Ban the match referees.

  4. I think the next time something like this happens, they should make the accused (perm any from Harbhajan, Symonds, Hayden, Sharma, Hogg..oops…he’s retired now…) play in just their pants.

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