Half a dozen cricket balls in an unusual place

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This is how you do home décor people.

Marking the other strand of our other writing life, our bike is also in the kitchen. In contrast to the cricket balls, its decorative worth is still the matter of some debate.

Send your pictures of cricket bats and other cricket stuff in unusual places to king@kingcricket.co.uk


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Nice cross-plugging. Does the inverse happen over on your sat on arse watching cycling site?

    What’s the bike? When do we get to see it? Don’t even try and pretend like you only have one, call yourself a proper cyclist?

    1. There has been cross-promotion over on arse-sitting, cycling-watching site in the past, but posting frequency has dropped a bit over there, so not many opportunities of late.

      By this point, the bike is a Frankenstein with a Scott frame. There is also a Decathlon bike attached to a turbo trainer which would cost more to repair than it initially cost and which will one day in the not-too-distant future make a final journey to the tip.

  2. So, Sian has objected to a bowl of manky cricket balls on her kitchen table, and you are drumming up support for your aesthetic vision. Well let me tell you – it will fail. She doesn’t care about the opinions of people on this website.

    Trust me on this. I have referred my missus to this website over several important decisions for our family. Should our holiday coincide with an England tour? Are my floating holidays from work purely there for watching test matches? Is it reasonable to insist she wears a Jimmy Anderson mask while having sex? And in each case the answer has come back – I don’t care what those people think. Do they even exist? I wish you would spend as much time talking to me as you do to those people.

    So don’t think we are able to help with this. I might say that those cricket balls are a beautiful addition to the table, and that they cannot fail to impress all visitors. She will say, “Who the hell is this Bert anyway, and irrespective of that, I couldn’t give a flying fuck what you and your no-mark mates think. Now throw that ugly crap away and get some flowers.”

    “Oh, and if that bike’s not gone by evening I’m selling it for scrap.”

    1. Au contraire.

      We said: “But that fella Bert thinks it’s cool,” and she said, “Well in that case” – and thus the bowl of balls was given approval.

  3. I’m not convinced that King Cricket’s home is an unusual place for anything cricket related, but we’ll let that conundrum pass.

    In other news, three days for Ged and his cast of characters at Lord’s yields a severe attack of cricket lovers’ buttock plus, as evidenced by the link below, verbal diarrhoea.

    Lots of very nice pictures and links too though:


  4. In other news, Neil Wagner’s back! As in, returned to Essex to try and help them win a first county championship in quite a while.

    In other other news, Mo Amir’s back! As in, returned to Pakistan due to international commitments, hence paving the way for Neil Wagner’s return.

    Neither of them have developed ankylosing spondylitis.

  5. If it is uranium glass it will glow green under black light and then explode with enough force to destroy your house.

  6. Perhaps we should ask commentator Howe on this site, cos he looks like he’s made of Uranium glass.

  7. Oh dear. Frosty atmosphere in these parts. I refused to see a very similar bunch of cricket balls as a work of art. Wondered where they had got to.

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