Joe Root Burnout Watch – part two

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How burnt-out is Joe Root right now?

Tense, thin-lipped and ever-so-slightly sickly – Joe Root is understandably looking a little more burnt-out than he did after the Ireland Test.

However, while he definitely looks tense and like he’s maybe lost a bit of weight, he also, somehow, totally against the odds, looks a tiny little bit younger too. We don’t think it’s the baseball cap and hoodie producing that effect either because the baseball cap and hoodie combo can actually accentuate ageing when inexpertly applied.

There’s a slight watery deadness to the eyes though. There’s a distinct hint of: “Hold it together, Joe. Just a little longer. Get through a couple more questions and then sprint to the toilets at the bottom of that stand and knock out a quick cry. It’s quiet over there. No-one’ll know.”

How burnt-out is Joe Root? We’d say that Joe Root is now about 46 per cent burnt-out.


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  1. Splitting the picture in two, his above-nostril age is clearly lower than his below-nostril age. It’s the apparent smoothness of the skin under his eyes, I think.

  2. This reads as so unscientific and quite unnecessarily so.

    The sense of science comes from shrewd presentation. Not least, you need to go to at least two decimal places to come across as scientific.

    Try, “Joe Root is now approximately 46.29% burnt-out (rounded to two decimal places)”.

    See what the word “approximately” achieves that “about” can never do?

    See how that “rounding to two decimal places” is now no longer to do with your inadequate science but is all to do with presenting the scientific information to the unscientific, common man (your readers, KC).

    Bert can explain further I’m sure.

  3. After all that bigging up, Thailand lost their T20 to Scotland. A tight match in which Scotland were chasing 124 to win, and needed 29 runs from the last three overs, with the advantage of six wickets in hand. The eighteenth over went for 12 runs as the excellent Nattaya Boochatham no-balled then got hit for six on the free-hit. She still finished with a useful 4-0-22-2. The nineteenth over delivered by the normally economical Ratanaporn Padunglerd went for 11 runs – what started as a quiet over finishing Four-Four-Bowled. Scotland went into the twentieth over needing six off six balls, with Chanida Sutthiruang to bowl. She was the leading Thai wicket-taker at the 2018 T20 Asia Cup but hasn’t had a great Quadrangular. She kept it tight – single, single and a two in the first three balls, followed by two dots.

    Needing one to tie and two to win off the final ball, Sarah Bryce hit a four to avenge the 74-run defeat Thailand inflicted in their previous encounter. Thailand still top the table after this first loss, with Scotland in second place on net run rate – in fact, despite winning all their other games, Scotland’s NRR is still negative after that earlier thrashing. Really interesting tournament and even Ireland could still come back to win it!

  4. But his “conversation rate” is up. He achieved this, largely, by scoring less fifties but since this fifties were not considered a virtue when his “conversion rate” was being criticised, presumably their loss will not be felt now his recent “conversion rate” is stellar. He does look shagged out though.

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