Jonathan Trott – unarsed England number three

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We're warming to Jonathan Trott quite a lot what with all those Ashes hundreds and all

Generally being unarsed about stuff is a fantastic quality for a Test batsman to have. Jonathan Trott’s got it in spades.

You can have all the shots and the best hand-eye co-ordination, but if you wobble when things don’t go perfectly, you’ll never make it as a Test batsman, because things never, ever go perfectly in real life.

Paul Collingwood highlights this well. Here is a batsman who won’t be put off by something as trivial as the fact that he’s playing bloody awfully. Playing bloody awfully won’t affect how Paul Collingwood plays; he’ll just keep going until he starts playing well again. This is his strength. Most batsmen will commit seppuku because they think the situation’s hopeless (possibly using a frisbee).

Jonathan Trott’s similar. Yeah, he plays shots on both sides of the wicket, but he doesn’t get het up if he hits a four, or if he’s nearly run-out, or if he gets knacked in the kneecap, or if the opposition suddenly lose their minds with PURE RAGE.

Jonathan Trott is so cool he can even take catches no-handed.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


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  1. Being unarsed is the trademark of a top #3. Rahul Dravid laughs off sledging like it’s on TV rather than in front of him. Kumar Sangakkara? Cool as a frozen cucumber. etc, etc.

    Of course, it works both ways. Ricky used to be unarsed about things going wrong because it didn’t matter, his side were the best in the world, now he is very much arsed about his problems, look what happens.

    The PCC take this very seriously. When Younis Kahn got stressed about things, he got banned.

  2. A life is not just for Christmas, Ged, it’s for, um, life. Claiming you’ve got a life just because you’ve been unable to get to a website because you’ve been stuck entertaining elderly relatives and in-laws over the bizarrely-named festive period is not allowed.

    Nice Venn, though.

    Seven down. England are in disarray at the moment. It’s hard to see how we can win from this position (I can’t get used to this new style of supporting England, so I’m sticking with what I’m used do).

  3. I fell asleep with the Test Match Sofa team in my ear prophesying doom and a draw as we had only taken Hughes’ wicket by about 3am…. and now I wake up with Australia 6 down…

    All ready to be here tomorrow night for when we win the Ashes?

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