Remember that time England picked five seamers and no spinner?

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Four (via Sky Sports)

Five seamers, man. Five. Five seamers.

There’s a bit in Grosse Point Blank where Jeremy Piven repeatedly says “ten years” ever more incredulously. Don’t be fooled by the quick burst at the start of this clip, he only really gets into it near the middle.

For a long time we have been unable to hear or say the words “ten years” without Piven’s bit cycling through our head and occasionally leaking out of our mouth. Apparently we do it with the words “five seamers” as well now.

Five seamers, man. Five. Five seamers.

Five seamers! Five!

It’s not that the words have the same rhythm, because they don’t. It’s the emotion; the sense that there is absolutely nothing to say beyond those two words and yet plenty more to express. The correct level of incredulity and disbelief simply cannot be conveyed by saying “five seamers” only once.

Five seamers, man. Five. Five seamers.

Five seamers! Five!

FIVE..! SEAMERS..!

What, exactly, is that fifth seamer giving you? What is the thinking that says that after four seamers have already had a go, what you’re really going to want at that moment is a fifth seamer? 

It’s not preferring a seamer to a spinner, it’s preferring the fifth seamer to even one spinner.

  • The first seamer is more important than a spinner
  • The second seamer is more important than a spinner
  • The third seamer is more important than a spinner
  • The fourth seamer is more important than a spinner
  • The fifth seamer is more important than a spinner

Five seamers, man. Five. Five seamers.

Five seamers! Five!

FIVE..! SEAMERS..!

… Fiveseamers.

You should always play a spinner.

9 comments

  1. Could have been worse

    England could have dropped a middle order bat for an extra pace bowling allrounder !!

    SIX Seamers !!!

  2. The spinner issue was similar to the keeper issue…

    …they didn’t “really” take a spare that they sensibly could use in that circumstance. It;s a squad selection issue rather than a team selection one.

    Leach might have toed up an end for a while but Parky ain’t that sort of spinner. He’ll need a track that might turn a bit and it would have been foolish to blood him (some might say “Schofield him”) in that Hamilton test.

    England played four seamers for this match – as it happens Stokes bowled a bit of seam too, plus Denly and Root bowled a bit of spin.

    1. Stokes bowled 27 overs of seam and Leach didn’t commence sharting until after the match was already underway.

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