First Ravi Bopara and Charlotte Edwards, now Ashley Giles. Is the King of Spain any better at DIY than those two charlatans?

Ashley Giles holds the things but doesn't do the thing

No.

You don’t need to know much about plastering to know that Giles isn’t up to the task. Look at his pristine sportswear.

What do plasterers look like? They look like the spattered guy standing next to the one-time England spin bowler. The defining characteristic of a plasterer is that they look like they’ve been shat on.