The players England are sort of maybe half-interested in for proper cricket

Posted by
< 1 minute read

It’s one-day squad announcement day! It’s when we get to find out some of the players that England are sort of maybe half-interested in for proper cricket at some indeterminate point in the future!

But actually, it’s not as clear-cut as that. A one-day squad is actually a blend of potential future Test players and also those who have already been tarred by the coarse and unforgiving bristles of the ‘short format specialist’ brush.

A bit of labelling

Take the stand-in captain, for example. Originally a short format specialist, Eoin Morgan became someone considered for Tests for a period and now no-one’s quite sure where he stands. Michael “Mike” Carberry arrives at the same place from a different direction. He’s easing his way back into England squads, but how far will he ease?

We’re not exactly sure where Ben Stokes stands either and there’s unexpected uncertainty surrounding James Tredwell’s status what with all the pish bowling and pish spraying that has afflicted back-up Test spinners in the last week or so.

We get the vibe that they have Boyd Rankin in mind primarily as a Test bowler, but we could be wrong.

Luke Wright is a one-day specialist.


Then there are players whose selection smacks of general fact-finding. Jamie Overton has 19 one-day wickets, but has attracted a bit of excitement. Chris Jordan has 47 one-day wickets, although we seemed to find ourself mentioning him quite a lot earlier in the season, back when we were on top of county cricket.

On that subject, we’ll catch up with the County Championship at some point, we promise. But not today. By the flaxen locks of Mullally, not today. Have mercy on us, people.


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. What I don’t understand (beyond why this series even exists – didn’t we do the ODIs before the Ashes this year? I definitely have a dim memory of ODIs earlier this summer, I’m not imagining them, am I?), is why there is a different squad for the Ireland game than the Australia games.

    1. There were only one-dayers against New Zealand this summer, but you might well be thinking of the memorable 2012 Australia tour. It featured great players such as Xavier Doherty, Clint McKay and Peter Forrest.

    2. We have to take the opportunity for experimentation against pathetically weak teams, Daneel, whereas we lost our last ODI against Ireland, so we have to field a full team against them.

    3. No, there was that thing with other teams too – India, I think?

      Warner punched Root during it, I remember that.

    4. Oh yeah, that thing.

      This short exchange pretty much sums up the current state of international one-day cricket.

  2. I saw “ease into” and “Ben Stokes” and wanted to write a sex joke for y’all.

    1. Brad Haddin. The best wicket-keeper batsman in the series.

      That’s a hotly contested title.

    2. They’re clearly relative. It might help to add the suffix ‘… for an Australian’ to many of the ratings.

      E.g. Steve Smith 8/10 for an Australian.

    3. I think you are being a bit unfair on Philip Hughes – both of those runs at Lords came at a crucial stage in the innings, that has to be worth something.

    4. Who Jim Maxwell? He once said this:

      Harmison now is up to the wicket and he bowls and there’s an appeal for a catch down the leg side is he caught down the leg side HE’S OUT! England have won by TWO RUNS!

      For this reason alone, he is my favourite ever voice.

  3. Better still, we could add the suffix “Jim Maxwell” to patently ridiculous stuff.

    Tendulkar: Gazillion runs @50.00 3/10 for Jim Maxwell.

    I move to make his name a verb: “Maxwelled”. Thusly, we can claim Tendulkar to have been Maxwelled.

    1. Sorry for not winning in more style. Sorry for giving terse interviews. Sorry for being boring. Sorry for cautious tactics. Sorry for giving youngsters a chance. Sorry for everything.

Comments are closed.