Who is Rahkeem Cornwall?

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< 1 minute read

He’s this guy. And here’s his Cricinfo page which currently features a spectacularly poor headshot (and we of all people know one when we see one). It’s rather as if the photographer has instructed the Antiguan: “Make a sad face. Now do some mouth-breathing. Perfect!”

According to Tony Cozier, Rahkeem Cornwall is a decent prospect. Excellent name, excellent girth – let’s hope he can get into the West Indies side before too long.

This is semi-relevant because England are of course in the Windies at the minute. Most articles we’ve read about the series seem to almost instantly flit to the tours of New Zealand and Australia in the summer, adopting the Colin Graves attitude that England should easily win and that Test matches against the West Indies are barely worth talking about.

What’s your take on that? We feel much the same as we did about all those columns that stated that England would qualify for the quarter finals of the World Cup. In cricket, presuming something is the finest way to negate that very presumption.


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  1. Rahkeem Rashawn Shane Cornwall.

    That third forename, Shane, is a bit of a giveaway. The man is clearly a fifth columnist from Australia, programmed to grind the English into the dirt before self-destructing, thus ruining the West Indies plans against the Aussies who will, in turn, grind the West Indies and England into the dirt.

    In any case, the use of three initials, RRS Cornwall, is sufficient to strike terror into the hearts of the Englishmen, who will thus practically concede the West Indies series before a ball is bowled.

    1. Probably so.

      No doubt one of those large oil tankers that, much like the ECB set-up, is so cumbersome it is unable to change tack in time to avoid disaster.

  2. While recent form suggests that New Zealand and Australia will be sterner opposition, the fact that England haven’t played a test in the West Indies for half a decade means that I’m far moe excited by the latter than the either of the former.

    Let’s face it we are only ever three weeks from a humiliating defeat to Australia in a One Day Series but an innings thrashing by a the Windies is just the kind of thing to usher in 3 or 4 years of disturbing competence.

    1. I particularly like the way that the ECB seem to have gone for a main attack of Anderson/Broad/Jordan/Tredders, omitting Wood and Plunkett. Because the only thing better than the RFM Bowling Buffet is replacing one RFM with a second division county’s secondary spinner.

    2. And they will do exactly the same thing again in two days’ time. What was it Einstein said?

    3. The word on the street is “PARKING.

      The other word on the street is that they’re going to put some of the squad that aren’t playing into the SK&N team. I would laugh heartily if Wood and Plunkett got a five-fer each, and Lyth bashed off a century in 120 balls.

      Alec: You’re right, of course, Kent believing that they didn’t need a sub-par first-class spinner when they had Adam Riley. Which makes one wonder why England feel they need a sub-par first-class spinner when they have Adam Riley.

    4. I just feel bad for Tredwell as he got picked for a single match when he was in form, was dragged around the antipodes for a World Cup as Ali’s cover when he was clearly one of the 4 best bowlers in the squad and now is going to be selected and judged as the player England want rather than the player he is.

  3. Tredwell ahead of virtually any other spinner in the country in the longer form of the game is symptomatic of the England selectors decision making process. I.e. Ridiculous generally and sticking with people they know who patently don’t fit the hole they are supposed to fill. (cook in odis etc)

    I also find it v sad that the windies could be considered not worth the time. That attitude in itself is causing many of the issues surrounding test cricket.

    I want to go back to the times when a test or indeed an international cricket match was an event!!

    1. Test matches are still events, if they’re against someone other than Australia or India. England have only played seven such matches in the last two and a half years.

    2. “Back to the times” infers rose-coloured specs to me.

      Tests against the West Indies were major events because they were one of the very best teams back then. We didn’t even have tests against “lesser nations” such as Sri Lanka and Bangladesh; indeed any international cricket with those nations was either an afterthought or a warm-up or an informal tour for nearly-men.

      The sadness is that West Indies is no longer a major international force in cricket. It could be and should be again.

    3. Ha – i was slightly inebriated writing that and so rose tints were probably firmly in place. Although I stand by it to a degree – even the 1998 Sri Lanka one off test was an ‘event’ as i recall it. India, who were not the force in any sense they are today, were also an event for Nassers first series in charge. (Its just a complaint against too much cricket really at heart i guess!)

  4. Google rahkeem Cornwall and look at the images.

    10th one down. Is that him as well?

    Btw, nsfw.

  5. My university is currently playing my second-division county of choice. And winning.

    Going to be another great season for Daneel, methinks.

    1. Didn’t know we had any la-di-da Oxbridge types here.

      Cosgrove is probably wondering what he’s got himself into.

    2. There’s a nice narrative line in this thread, leading from Rahkeem Cornwall to Mark Cosgrove.

      Or should I describe it as a well-rounded thread?

    3. Something something Rob Key.

      Sorry Daneel. His Maj must be aghast too, after all his despondency at the lack of state school cricketers, to have somebody like m’self in his comments. He hides it well, though.

    4. And to Oxford, too. Hardly Cambridge (and seeing the state of the reply, Fenners is clearly a minefield today)

      The pertinent question, though is, as a Cambridge graduate Middlesex supporter, how’s your election campaign going? Has DC popped down to your constituency to help out yet?

    5. He will when I ask him to.

      Last-wicket partnership currently on 69 runs. Take that, Oxford.

    6. Gloucester’s attack vs Cardiff MCCU is causing me mild amusement. Bowling’s too short? Bowl it Fuller. Miles Fuller. Full enough to cause Payne. Howell are they bowling? Norwell.

    7. Even better: Cardiff MCCU are fielding Dwayne Leverock’s nephew.

      Unfortunately, judging from his mugshot, Dwayne’s girth does not run in the family.

    8. I see Angus Robson is continuing his uncanny ability to get out in the 90s.

      Still reckon he’ll be the James to Sam’s Darren.

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