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Author: Count Cricket

September 4, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – September 4th

2 minute readGood day to you all. I, Count Cricket, have been following Durham around these last few weeks in my role as King Cricket’s roving county cricket reporter. I have developed a taste for Onions, you see. He really is rather delicious. A few sips of warming brandy, combined with the

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July 31, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – July 31st

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. Count Cricket here. Apologies for my absence, but certain developments have led to my spending several weeks indoors. Frustrating, but unavoidable. Fortunately, I did manage to read the newspaper during this unscheduled ‘downtime’ and have kept tabs on County Championship developments. I can basically sum

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June 6, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county round-up – June 6th

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. Last week, I, Count Cricket, attended Durham v Lancashire at Chester-le-Street. Lancashire won and lifted themselves to mid-table respectability. Some damp weather caused me to seek shelter in the toilets for a time. While there, I met a pleasant woman who informed me that King

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May 29, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 29th

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. Last week, I, Count Cricket, attended Sussex v Nottinghamshire. Nottinghamshire won and so went to the top of the table. The weather was good, so I protected my pallid skin by withdrawing to Hove’s toilets where I quaffed brandy from my thermos. Very pleasant it

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May 20, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 20th

< 1 minute readGood day to you. I am Count Cricket. This week I was at Edgbaston where batting conditions were so friendly even Lancashire passed 300. Following a draw, Warwickshire remain top of the table. One of the most notable performances was that of Rikki Clarke. During one of my visits to

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May 14, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 14th

< 1 minute readGood day to you all. I, Count Cricket, attended the Nottinghamshire v Middlesex match last week in my role as King Cricket’s county reporter. Due to heavy rain, I was forced to seek refuge in the toilets. Fortunately, I discovered that I could emerge and check the scoreboard from time

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May 6, 2012 County cricket

Count Cricket’s county cricket round-up – May 6th

< 1 minute readGood day. I am Count Cricket. My parole officer told me it would aid my rehabilitation to find some form of employment and King Cricket has offered to pay me £2.70 to cover the county cricket season for his “website”. I assume he needs to subcontract because he is too

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Latest features

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  • The 50 Most Ridiculous Ashes Moments is definitely out now – you should buy it for someone! (Possibly yourself)November 6, 2025
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Latest comments

  1. Ged Ladd on Ralphies, Surrey spin and why winning a game is either the best or worst thing you can do in the County ChampionshipApril 30, 2026

    Indeed. Unfortunately, the Italian cricket team has a dearth of players with names that sound like coffee styles. Marcus Campopiano…

  2. King Cricket on Ralphies, Surrey spin and why winning a game is either the best or worst thing you can do in the County ChampionshipApril 29, 2026

    Genuinely for a minute there thought the Sopranos character we'd referenced above was Ralphie Macchiato. But no, our brain was…

  3. Ged Ladd on Ralphies, Surrey spin and why winning a game is either the best or worst thing you can do in the County ChampionshipApril 29, 2026

    All this Surrey talk lately, KC. Gone soft or summat? Q: What type of coffee does Ralphie Albert - the…

  4. Tim on Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?April 28, 2026

    Hey, I'm Tim! still that's a good idea. comes with the name I guess.

  5. King Cricket on Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?April 27, 2026

    Agreed. Let's do it.

RSS Animals being conspicuously indifferent to cricket

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A cat finally being won over to cricket by the sheer ridiculousness of the Ashes
  • A cat continuing to maintain almost ostentatiously conspicuous indifference to cricket

RSS Match reports

  • Match Report: Ireland vs England, 2nd T20, Malahide
  • Keep your enemies closer | a 2019 Edgbaston Ashes Test match report
  • Match report: Sixes, Fulham

RSS Cricket bats in unusual places

  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • A very high quality cricket book with a lagoony backdrop
  • A Device-like cricket-style bat in a Mexican corrido music video

About King Cricket

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Recent Posts

  • Ralphies, Surrey spin and why winning a game is either the best or worst thing you can do in the County Championship
  • Clamour model: Can’t James Rew just carry on breathing down people’s necks for a bit?
  • If you want to bat for England, bat for Surrey. If you want to bowl for England, bowl for Sussex. And if you want to open for England…
  • A black standard poodle being conspicuously indifferent to a very good cricket book that you should definitely buy
  • Skullwatch: Jamie Smith looks safe then

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