Crickileaks by Alan Tyers

Posted by
< 1 minute read

Do you know Alan Tyers’ work? You can probably make your own mind up about this book if you do. Crickileaks is what you would expect from him.

The fake diary is Alan Tyers’ thing. He’s done them for Cricinfo and The Wisden Cricketer (now The Cricketer) many times before and that is what this book is, a collection of fake player diaries.

It’s basically a device that allows him to make fun of some aspect of that player’s character. Our favourites are when the subject is a little unexpected, like the Nawab of Pataudi or other historical figures such as Bradman, who is portrayed as being cricket-crazed, oblivious to others and a little bit autistic.

Less good are those that target the obvious. Harmison gets homesick, Freddie likes a drink etc. It doesn’t feel like the effort’s been put into those. We were also a little disappointed that each diary is only two pages long. That’s okay for some subjects, but others seem to fade away just as they’re getting going and the book can feel a bit flimsy as a result.

Overall, it’s good. WG Grace Ate My Pedalo is better, but Crickileaks is probably worth getting, if only for the two pages detailing the extent of Douglas Jardine’s hatred of all things Australian. That poor koala will never be the same again.

Buy Crickileaks from Amazon


Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.


Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?


  1. “…is probably worth getting” is the most damning thing one can say about a book. I am indeed glad I have this website in my bookmarks.

  2. Oh god yeah this is true cos I don’t waste my time lyin’ cos lyin is for fools get me? So King Cricket lives next door and sometimes comes round cos is he mainly hittin on my mom which is sick and what is only sicker is the way she giggles when he makes his sly jokes. An the other day he say ‘Oh why that dress brings out the best in your eyes Judith, you can real dazzle when you want to.’ And I puked in his face but she blushed and looked away. My dad gonna come back one day and beat his ass up!
    But I’ve got me type on to tell you the biggest truth. Two years he be goin on about the U2s at glastonbury. And true fact. When Bobo hurt his toe and cudnt do it last year KC came round drunk and cryin and watched it with me mum and when Gorillaz was on as their replacement he sang that he still hadn’t found wat he was lookin for all the way through the set. But it was ok cos Gorillaz was shit boring. So anyway he find out they coming back this year and he ain’t bought a ticket cos he can only poo in his own house but he comin round ours with his beers and his homemade u2 flag and he gonna wave it all night long. So just givin you the wise up. he act all cool with his cricket and shit but he just a u2 lovin dick.

    1. Judith Farrell deserves better than you, Kevin. No mother should have to take out a second mortgage so that she can continue to indulge her son’s love of vanilla slices and iced fingers.

      You’re a drain on her in so many ways and you’re prematurely ageing her.

      Also, U2 are totally gayballs and we have never said otherwise.

  3. Oh, mum say can she borrow the Lighthouse Family album from you? the one with Ocean Drive on? She said you can have your video of Top Gun back too.

    1. We bought you that Top Gun DVD in the hope that it might inspire to take up volleyball again in a bid to maybe shed a few pounds. We didn’t get is so that you could foist the old VHS copy onto us. Just bin it, Kevin. We don’t want it.

      The Lighthouse Family are also gayballs. Stop posting your old CDs through our door. The cat urinated on your Nickelback one because, unlike you, he has taste.

  4. and i’d rather prematurely age her then prematurely disappoint her. remember the walls are thin KC.

  5. Crumbs – KC’s own private cricileak. And not a superinjunction in sight.

    It’s all go round here. And round the KC/Farrell households by the sound of it.

Comments are closed.