New Zealand

Jesse Ryder’s weight

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You big JesseCricinfo’s Statsguru can produce all sorts of valuable reports for you. However, there’s one that it can’t produce, which would be just about priceless to us. It can’t list every single person who’s played international cricket in order of weight, with Warwick Armstrong at the top and Parthiv Patel at the bottom.

Jesse Ryder would feature towards the top of that list. In fact, let’s invert it. It’s only right that all that weight should sink to the bottom, although fat floats, so maybe we were right the first time. In any case, Jesse’s towards the fat end of the spectrum and is therefore given a green light here at King Cricket.

With Inzy having shrunk and subsequently retired and Mark Cosgrove still failing to make the grade, there’s a lot of weight on Jesse’s shoulders – though not as much as is clinging to his abdomen.

DON'T BE LIKE GATT!

Mike Gatting wasn't receiving the King Cricket email when he dropped that ludicrously easy chance against India in 1993.

Coincidence?

Why risk it when it's so easy to sign up?

Similar deliveries:

Default ThumbnailJesse Ryder adds weight to New Zealand’s middle order Default ThumbnailJesse Ryder’s back Default ThumbnailCoverage of the attack on Jesse Ryder Default ThumbnailJesse Ryder quarantined

10 comments

  3. On this topic (the ‘larger’ cricketing gentleman), this week’s Guardian cricket e-mail (the Spin) has a ‘Fat XI’. Judging by the fact that Dwayne ‘Sluggo’ Leverock is at 11, it seems that the true ‘heavyweight’ does indeed sink down the order rather than float at the top like a soon-to-be-beached whale.

  6. I think it’s time to name a past and present fat bastards XI.

    Here’s a few names.

    Jesse Ryder (obviously)
    Inzamum Al Haq
    Arjuna Ranatunga
    Mike Gatting
    David Boon
    Lance Cairns
    Merv Hughes
    Chris Pringle

    …. can someone come up with a tubby keeper (Adam Parore had lots but it was all between his ears) or a corpulent spinner??

  7. Plenty of spinners to choose from – Warne, Mushtaq, Leverock, Powar. You could probably pick a Fat Spinners XI.

  8. a joke about jesse…

    when jesse steped on weighing machine to know his weight…machine started shouting that ‘please all players step one by one to know their weight…’

  9. Randominanity, the Guardian fat XI has Tariq Iqbal for their wicketkeeper, famous for catching Lara in the 96 world cup. I remember that he was basically hidden behind the stumps as he was too much of a liability in the field. Much as I adore Lara, even now footage of that dismissal I never fails to make me smile.

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