Rangana Herath is some kind of homicidal capybara

As assassins go, Sri Lanka’s Rangana Herath is sort of chubby and non-threatening looking. However, after taking five wickets for three runs in 3.3 overs, New Zealand were left feeling like they’d been gummed to death by a capybara. If that weren’t enough, there were two run-outs while he was bowling as well.

It was soft, dreamlike carnage, like choking on blancmange or being smothered by Egyptian cotton with an unusually high thread count. Full credit to the captain for bringing him on so early. Nominally, that captain was Lasith Malinga, but being as he didn’t seem to know his team at the toss and judging by the flailing arms of Mahela Jayawardene and Kumar Sangakkara in the field, that was little more than an honorary position.

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17 Appeals

  1. He is way too conspicuously attired to be an assassin, don’t you think?

    http://srilankaactress.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/rangana-herath-and-senani-at-rivisrasi.jpg

    • King Cricket

      March 31, 2014 at 7:10 pm

      Dunno. If you saw him looking like that, would you immediately think: “Assassin!”?

    • Wow; that’s a serious outfit. And i was complaining about having to keep my jacket on till after the speeches.

    • Lord High Executioner, rather than assassin, in that picture. Similar role.

    • looks a bit friendly to be an executioner. but maybe he just really, really enjoys his job

    • You keep your jacket on until after the speeches?

      Are you wearing a waistcoat?

      And what’s the situation with braces?

      This is a bloody minefield.

    • Looks like he’s up for head of security at the House of Commons.

    • @Sam; it is a bloody minefield. I settled for the default position of doing what i’m told. Easier that way. Dad said it was a good introduction to married life.

  2. honestly, sometimes i think that cricket vocabulary was developed solely to give commentators (and fans) things to snigger over. today is david gower’s birthday, marked on cricinfo with a reference to his having “stroked Aaqib Javed through the covers”. how wrong does that sound?!

  3. Getting bowled out for 90 is clearly the latest trend.

  4. from bbc sport: ‘Test captain Alastair Cook says it took “a lot of guts and consideration” to end Kevin Pietersen’s England career’

    – oh, well that’s ok then…

    ‘Cook told the BBC: “We all know how important team culture and team unity is…” ‘

    – yes, and we’ve all seen what a huge difference that makes.

    wtf was the point of *this* announcement at *this* time?

    • It was not an announcement, he was responding to journalist’s questions. Unfortunately, I can’t tell you more about it at this point of time.

    • haha, yes, i see. and it was just bbc journos trying to make a “story” of out some forced answers to inappropriate questions. lovely.

      looking at the conversation in more detail now though (c/o cricinfo) i have only one thing to remark: who the hell started this craze for saying “it is what it is” and thinking you’re being clever or philosophical? this stupid and pointless phrase seems to have spread like wildfire – management at my workplace are forever saying it, which has of course led to the department suck-ups using it as well wherever possible, in the belief that it makes them sound like managers. depending on my mood this is either funny or just depressing.

    • Ego sum qui sum

      God said to Moses, “I am who I am.”
      Exodus 3:14

      “I am what I am”
      Gloria Gaynor

  5. I feel sorry for Michael Carberry. He wasn’t allowed his mum out to Melbourne when the wags went over. That’s a bit harsh and it made my pregnant emotional wife well up when she heard. Boo to the ecb again.

    • What has happened to the ECB since the glory days? Do they have no sense of history?

      Geoffrey Boycott’s mum was always an intrinsic part of the England set up – her stick of rhubarb is the subject of legend.

    • boo to the ecb by all means, but carbs may have been spared some funny looks there. wanting your mum to accompany you when the other guys have their wives and gfs around is just… weird

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